


Another Life

by BeautifulUnseen



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 11:36:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 35,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10990128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeautifulUnseen/pseuds/BeautifulUnseen
Summary: Kurt and Blaine are living the dream in New York together, but Kurt questions how his life could be different if he hadn't known Blaine. Kurt makes a birthday wish, never dreaming it would actually come true. But when he wakes up the next morning, he finds his life completely turned upside down.





	1. Chapter 1

Oh, how easy it was to get lost in Blaine Anderson. Even in the midst of an argument, Kurt Hummel found his fiancé irresistible. It could have something to do with the soft, gentle lips that were currently everything but gentle against his right now. Or maybe it was the curve of his strong shoulders and back that Kurt's hands could never get enough of. Or could it be the way that Blaine could make him forget all of the worries and thoughts swirling around in his mind with one heavy-lidded look? Hmm...What were they arguing about again?

"Kurt," Blaine cut him off in the middle of a thought, pushing him backward onto their bed. Kurt growled and wrapped his arms tighter around Blaine to bring their lips together. He shivered as Blaine slid his tongue tantalizingly along his bottom lip. "Kurt," Blaine began again, breaking away. Kurt let out a small whine. "Your argument is invalid. There's no such thing as being your own person when you are two halves of a whole. We're so...intertwined..." Blaine hitched Kurt's leg up around his hip.

Kurt groaned, throwing his head back, as Blaine began rolling his hips against Kurt's.

"I'm just saying," Kurt said breathlessly. "How are we supposed to know who we are as-ah-individuals?" Blaine's lips had found their way to his neck.

Kurt slid his hands underneath Blaine's waistband, squeezing his ass. The action had its desired effect. Blaine let out a hissing breath and bucked his hips down into Kurt's, creating incredible friction between their erections.

"Are you telling me that there will come a time when we'll be without each other?" Blaine asked in a low voice while opening the top of Kurt's shirt. His fingers brushed lightly across Kurt's collarbone, causing Kurt to arch his back and let out a yelp.

" _Fuck_ , Blaine." He brought Blaine's mouth back to his hungrily and pulled Blaine's hips even closer to his own. "Never," he breathed.

Suddenly they were pulled from their frenzy by the shrill voice of their roommate.

"We're baaaaack!" Pause. "Ack! _Jesus Christ_!"

Blaine grudgingly lifted his head to see Rachel standing in the middle of the loft holding a cake and balloons.

Santana walked in behind her, spotting the boys and rolling her eyes. "I know it's your birthday, Lady Hummel, but ain't none of us wanna watch y'alls do the Rumpy Pumpy."

Blaine rolled off of Kurt and pulled them both up to a standing position, rearranging himself in his pants. He leaned in close to Kurt's ear and whispered "This isn't over."

Kurt shivered in anticipation. This was going to be a great birthday.

\---

Kurt's 20th birthday party was in full swing. The HummelBerry loft (now the HummelBerryLopezAnderson loft) was full of Kurt and Blaine's closest friends who were eating (too much), drinking (too much), and having a great time.

Kurt spotted Blaine from across the room, and he couldn't help but to feel his heart swell with happiness. Blaine had really taken to life in NYC, and their life together. Kurt had been terrified to take this leap with Blaine, but it had really paid off. They were so happy.

But despite all of that, Kurt had been plagued by one nagging question over the past few weeks.

_Who would he be if he wasn't with Blaine?_

The two had been together for so long that everything that he and Blaine did was influenced by the other. Would he make the same decisions, think the same thoughts, be the same person if he wasn't with Blaine? They had never taken the time to discover who they were apart from each other. For nearly as long as he could remember, they had been _Kurt and Blaine, Blaine and Kurt_ , or the endearing _Klaine_.

Kurt was happy. Maybe the happiest he'd ever been. So why couldn't he shake these thoughts?

He was brought out of his reverie by Santana twirling around him and grinding against him.

"Cheer up, second favorite gay."

Kurt held her at arm's length, giving her an amused smile. "You're drunk. Wait...second favorite?"

"You're being a buzzkill," she smacked his ass. "Go enjoy your guests!" She caught Artie as he wheeled by, and hopped on his lap, riding away.

He walked to the other side of the room to where Blaine was talking to a few of their NYADA friends. Kurt snaked his arm around Blaine's waist, settling his hand in Blaine's back pocket.

"Happy birthday, Kurt! Blaine was just telling us about your plans to go to Europe this summer! How exciting!" A girl from Blaine's class gushed.

Kurt nodded, but his mind was suddenly in the bedroom with Blaine.

He put his lips to Blaine's ear as the others discussed their favorite travel destinations. "Can we continue that argument now?" He asked Blaine, voice laden with lust.

Blaine laughed softly, pushing his ass into Kurt's hand. "Hold on, Killer. We have guests to entertain."

"You're no fun when you're sober," Kurt pouted playfully, eliciting another laugh from Blaine.

" _Someone_ has to be responsible here. Plus, birthday boy, you need to blow out the candles on your cake." He winked and nodded toward the kitchen table.

Kurt's guests had gathered around the table, which was now home to a beautiful two-tier cake, design courtesy of Isabelle and his other Vogue coworkers.

Rachel grabbed his shoulders and steered him toward the chair in front of the cake, and pushing him down into it as everyone sang to him. He felt such a sense of warmth and family looking into the eyes of the friends gathered around him that he had to blink back tears.

"Make a wish, Kurt!" Rachel encouraged, pushing the cake toward him.

Kurt closed his eyes. _I wish I could know who I would be if I had never met Blaine._

He blew out the candles.


	2. Chapter 2

Kurt yawned and stretched in his bed, refusing to open his eyes. He smiled remembering the night before. His party had been a hit, and the night (early morning?) had ended with Blaine ravishing him into oblivion. Kurt felt a stirring in his pants at the memory of what Blaine's sweet mouth on him. He rolled over to press his erection into Blaine's leg and give him the best kind of wake-up call.

But the other side of the bed was empty. Kurt wondered if Blaine was making breakfast for the two of them. That was usually reserved for Sunday mornings, but maybe they were still celebrating his birthday. Kurt's stomach growled, and he realized just how hungry he was. He had been so busy yesterday, that he hadn't eaten much more than a piece of cake...and Blaine. The wicked look returned to his face.

Kurt rolled out of bed to dig around in his side of the dresser for his sweatpants.

Strange. All he could find in his sweatpants drawer were dress shirts. Maybe Blaine had rearranged their clothes without telling him. He should know better than to mess with Kurt's clothes. He shrugged and tried the next drawer, with more success this time.

In the kitchen, Kurt did not find his fiancé, but he did find Rachel sitting at the table, nose in a Patti LuPone autobiography.

"Morning, Rach. Where's Blaine? And Santana?"

"Huh?" She lifted confused eyes to look at him. "What a weird thing to say. Hurry up and get dressed. We're meeting Artie and Brittany for brunch."

Artie and Brittany? That was unusual. Kurt didn't think the two of them had spent time alone together since they dated in high school.

"Uh...okay." He hadn't remembered making these plans, but then again, Rachel didn't always remember to tell him what she had scheduled for him. So he agreed.

All throughout his morning routine, Kurt had a strange feeling. When he reached for his shampoo, he found himself grasping at the air instead. His favorite monogrammed towel (B + K) had been replaced with a standard towel. The scarf rack that Blaine had given him for Christmas last year wasn't in its usual corner of their room. In fact, he couldn't find his scarf collection at all. The major reason he had accumulated so many, was because Blaine once mentioned how he loved being able to grab the ends of Kurt's scarves and pulling him in close for kisses. But the most noticeable change of all was when he reached to twirl his engagement ring around his finger-

"Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! God damn it!"

Rachel ran into his room with a horrified look on her face, to find Kurt clutching his hand. "What is the matter? Were you _swearing_? You look like you're going to vomit."

His shaking hands reached out to grab hers.

"My engagement ring is missing. I swear I didn't take it off. I never take it off. Where could it be? Blaine is going to kill me!"

She gave him another funny look. "You're being very weird today. Why would you have an engagement ring? And who is Blaine?"

Kurt took a stunned step back. "Who is- _Who is Blaine_?!" He shrieked.

"Do we know someone named Blaine?" Rachel continued, eyeing him warily, as if he were a stranger. "Unless...Are you talking about Warbler Blaine? That guy from Dalton's glee club back in high school?"

Kurt couldn't breathe. "That guy...who...what…" His knees were weak, and a knot of confusion and terror had formed in the pit of his stomach. "Rachel?"

"Yes?" She looked like she wanted to bolt from the room.

"Do we live with Blaine Anderson, my fiancé and love of my life?"

"Kurt!" Rachel squealed uncomfortably, pulling her hands out of his desperate grasp. "Are you on drugs?"

"No! God, no. Answer me. Please."

She took a tentative breath. "N-no. We aren't friends with Blaine Anderson. You aren't engaged to anyone. You've never even had a serious boyfriend. And I think you need to skip out on brunch and go back to sleep. You've been under a lot of stress lately. I wish..."

Kurt drowned her out as the pieces clicked into place. Wish. He sank down onto the couch, head in his hands.

There's no fucking way this could be happening.

"Kurt, are you-"

"Where's my phone?" He demanded, launching himself off the couch. He tore across the room and lunged for his phone.

He held his breath as he typed in his passcode.

The familiar wallpaper picture of him and Blaine kissing in front of the Met had been altered. It was just Kurt standing in front of the Met, almost as if Blaine had been erased from the photograph. He frantically flipped through his photo library, but couldn't find a single trace of Blaine. There was no picture of him and Blaine in their Dalton blazers, no picture of them sharing a bottle of wine after they got engaged, no picture of them cuddling in bed on their first day living together. All documentation of the best times of his life had vanished.

He threw his phone across the room in frustration before sinking down to the floor.

_What have I done?_

\---

 _Deep breaths_ , Kurt reminded himself. He tried channeling Blaine, who was the logical one in the relationship, and who always brought Kurt back down to Earth when his emotions got the best of him and made him act irrationally.

So he made a list of what he knew to be true.

He had made a wish last night, and this morning, he woke up in a completely different life.

Blaine and Santana did not live with him and Rachel.

He had never dated Blaine.

There was no proof that he had ever known Blaine.

Blaine was out there somewhere.

Writing out that last fact calmed Kurt down a bit, and gave him some hope. He had seen enough movies to know that the point of all of this was to teach him a lesson. All he had to do was discover what that lesson was, and everything would go back to normal...Right?

He must be losing his mind. Things like this only happened in the movies. Didn't they? But what other way was there to explain what was happening? And was it possible to get his life and his love back?

Kurt felt himself slipping into hysterics again. What was he supposed to do? He couldn't help but feel that he was losing his grip on reality. _Real_ reality. Not this insane, alternate universe reality. He reached for his ring to help keep him grounded, but quickly remembered it wasn't there. There had to be something left from his real life. Something that was proof that he hadn't dreamed it all.

Though every cell in his brain was screaming at him not to, Kurt logged onto his Facebook account and pulled up Blaine's page.

There was a moment when Kurt's hopes soared as he saw Blaine's unbelievably handsome profile picture. He definitely existed in this strange new world.

But the relief he felt didn't last long. Kurt closed the laptop as quickly as he could, feeling like he was going to be sick.

Blaine's cover picture was a selfie of him and none other than Sebastian Smythe.


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt spent the remainder of the weekend shut away in his room, trying to convince himself that he hadn't completely lost it.

Monday morning dawned, and he decided that his only option was to go about his daily routine.

He met Rachel as she was on her way out the door.

"Give me 5 minutes and we can go to school together," he told her with a soft smile. He knew he had freaked her out Saturday, and felt like he needed to make it up to her.

"But we don't go to school together."

Kurt was incredulous. "You don't go to NYADA?"

She laughed gently. "No, _you_ don't go to NYADA."

He felt like someone had punched him.

"Madam Tibideaux wouldn't let you audition again. She thought your first audition was too 'predictable, boring, and safe.' Her words, not mine." She held her hands up defensively.

Something dawned on him. "Do you remember what song I sang for my audition?"

"You sang The Music of the Night."

Of course. If he hadn't known Blaine, he never could have encouraged him to take a risk and sing Not the Boy Next Door instead.

"So if I don't go to NYADA, I go to…"

"NYU. Undecided major. I'm worried about you, Kurt."

He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "Don't worry about me. Have a fun day at school."

He watched her leave, then sat down and dialed his dad's phone number. He had been avoiding making this call, but he hoped his dad would help point him in the right direction.

"Hello?" Burt Hummel answered.

"Hi dad."

"Hey kiddo. What's going on? Don't you have class this morning?"

Shit. Excuse, excuse… "I'm not feeling very well."

"Uh oh. Is everything okay?"

"Not really." He desperately wanted to tell someone what he was going through. He would have to settle for vague wording. "I lost...something very important to me."

"Hey, you'll figure it out, buddy. You always do."

Burt's words reassured Kurt, as they always did.

"How are you, dad? How is-"

Kurt stopped abruptly. He hadn't thought...In this crazy, parallel universe, had Burt met Carole? And could it- _no_! Was it possible that in this world where he had not ever met Blaine, the series of events leading up to Finn's death had been altered? Could Finn still be alive? His heart was trying to escape his rib cage.

"H-how is the family?" He tried tentatively.

"Oh, we're doing pretty great. Carole just started a new job, and I'm so proud of her, Kurt."

A sigh of relief. His dad was still happy and in love with Carole. Burt went on. "We went to visit Finn yesterday."

Kurt yelped and dropped the phone. He felt his pulse pounding in his ears as he scrambled to pick it back up.

"Sorry, sorry, what were you saying?" His voice was barely a whisper.

"We left flowers at his grave and told him how much you miss him."

Kurt exhaled. "Oh." It had been crazy to hope, but still.

"Look, I know this time of year is hard for you. So close to the anniversary of his death. You just haven't been the same since. It has been hard on us all, but you grieved alone there in New York. I can't imagine what that must have been like. I still really think you should see someone about it."

He had stayed alone in New York when Finn died? He couldn't imagine it either. A memory came flooding back to him.

_Suffocation. That's never what he imagined grieving would feel like. But here he was, the day after Finn's death, feeling like he was suffocating. The phone calls. The texts. The visitors. The funeral plans. It was all just too much. His dad and Carole hovered around in whatever room he was in, as if letting him out of their sight would make something happen to him, too. He kept trying to take deep breaths, but he didn't ever seem to be able to pull enough air into his lungs to be satisfied. He had the sudden urge to get out. And he knew exactly where he wanted to be: With Blaine._

_He had heard from Blaine only once shortly after they found out the news. A text reading: "Devastated. Call me if you need ANYTHING. Love you. XO"_

_An hour later, Kurt walked through the Andersons' front door. Blaine had mentioned that his parents were out for the night, and Kurt should let himself in._

_"Up here!" Blaine called from his room. Kurt ran up the stairs, suddenly very anxious to see Blaine._

_He walked in to Blaine's room and stopped in his tracks._

_The_ Wicked _soundtrack playing throughout the room. The sound of water running in the bathroom. The smell of lemon and ginger. A pile of vintage_ Vogue _magazines on the bed. And Blaine setting out materials on the vanity._

_"Blaine," Blaine turned around, smiling at the sight of Kurt standing in his doorway. "What is all of this?"_

_Blaine shrugged, a slight blush spreading across his face. "We start with facials, followed by a bubble bath. Then I thought we could end the night drinking your favorite tea and that caramel corn you love while we watch_ Moulin Rouge _."_

_"I don't understand," Kurt's brow furrowed._

_Blaine explained simply, "Those are all of the things that make you happy."_

_Understanding, Kurt felt love surge through his veins, and overwhelming emotion overtook him. He collapsed into Blaine's arms in tears. "And you," he whispered._

_Blaine sniffed - he was a sympathy crier. "What?" He asked Kurt, squeezing him tightly._

_Kurt held on as if his life depended on it. "And you. You make me happy." He could finally breathe._

"Kurt! Kurt! Are you still there?" Burt asked.

"I'm here. I think I'm going to go lay down."

"Okay, kiddo. I'll talk to you soon."

"Love you, dad."

"Love you too."

\---

That evening, Rachel peeked her head into Kurt's bedroom.

"Everything all right? I'm going out with Sam, Artie, Brittany, and Tina."

"You are? And you didn't invite me?" He held his hand to his heart, pretending to be offended.

Rachel looked stunned. "I'm sorry. You never go out with us, so I just assumed…"

_I don't_? Kurt thought to himself. "I'd love to join you." He could see Rachel try to wipe the surprise off of her face.

He jumped up and searched for what he thought would be the perfect outfit, but couldn't find it.

"Rach, have you seen my turquoise paisley jacket?"

She laughed. "Funny, Kurt. You would never wear anything that bold!"

Kurt frowned, and looked through the multitude of dark, plain clothes in his closet. It was quickly becoming clear to him that he was very out of touch with alternate reality Kurt.

He ended up deciding on an outfit, and 30 minutes later, he found himself and Rachel walking up to an unfamiliar dueling piano bar.

Kurt breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his friends sitting around a booth. It was comforting, to know that they were still there for him when everything else was flipped on its head.

He was determined not to let any of them see that something crazy was going on with him - he had freaked Rachel out enough as it was. So he swallowed a gasp when Brittany kissed Artie, held his tongue when Tina talked about how she hadn't gotten into Brown, and hid his shock and sadness when Sam talked about how he was just visiting town and had never pursued his modeling dream. But he was unable to hold in his horror when Brittany announced "Guess what? Santana is pregnant."

His body involuntarily jumped up from his seat and he slammed his hands down on the table, causing the glasses to rattle. " _WHAT_?!"

Five sets of wide eyes turned to look at him.

He sat back down quickly and tried to cover. "Sorry. Something I saw on the TV just now…" He mumbled.

A second of silence passed before Tina spoke up.

"She's really pregnant, Brittany?"

"With whose baby?" Kurt asked, mind still reeling.

"Very funny, Kurt. Her husband's, of course."

"Maybe a baby will soften her ice cold heart," Artie offered.

"Yeah," Brittany responded. "She and Karofsky are so excited about it."

_Oh God_. Kurt's head spun. He needed to get some fresh air.

He excused himself, ignoring the weird looks he attracted from his friends, and went to stand out in front of the building.

Once outside, he took a few slow breaths, trying to make sense of it all. Santana was married to Karofsky. She must not have ever come out, and she and Karofsky continued their sham of a relationship into marriage. Could his and Blaine's relationship have inspired Santana to come out and start dating Brittany? This was all such a mess. He wanted so badly for things to go back to normal.

The door opened and he turned around to see Brittany coming to join him.

"Hey, alternate universe Kurt." She said with a knowing smile.

"Ummm...what?" He laughed nervously.

She put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't think I can't tell. I'm a genius, remember? I'm studying the mathematics behind parallel universes right now."

"How convenient. Sit down." He patted the curb next to him. It felt as if a weight had been lifted off of him. However weird this scenario with Brittany was, he had someone he could talk to about what was happening.

"Alternate universe Kurt looks sad. What did alternate universe Kurt leave behind?"

"Everything," Kurt lamented.

"What's different about this world?" She urged.

"As far as I can tell, the difference is that I never met Blaine."

"Who is Blaine?"

"He is my heart and my soul. The greatest person I know. And I don't know him in this life." His voice caught.

"Everything will be all right. I have a feeling you will find him," she squeezed his arm. She jerked her head up toward a sign on the front of the building.

Kurt's breath caught in his throat. The poster advertised for Thursday night's show. Musical guest Blaine Anderson.

"That's him, isn't it?" Brittany grinned. Kurt nodded, unable to believe his luck. He knew where he would be Thursday evening.

"I don't think it's a coincidence," she said, reading his mind. "So...what is Alternate Universe Brittany like? Still a genius?"

He chuckled. "Yes. She's great. Happy." Kurt wrapped an arm around Brittany's shoulders. "She's dating Santana."

Brittany sighed. "It sounds like a great world."

"You have no idea."

\---

Later that night, Kurt shrugged out of his sweater and climbed into bed. Why was everything so fucked up? That was the lesson, wasn't it? That without Blaine in his life, everything else went to shit. He grabbed the pillow next to him and pressed it to his face, muffling a scream. Blaine's pillow. He breathed in the scent of the fabric, but only smelled his own detergent. Frustrated, he threw the pillow to the ground. It may have only been a couple of days, but he missed Blaine so intensely. His body ached for its companion. They hadn't gone a night without each other since Blaine had moved out to New York with him. He thought back to their first night together in the loft.

_Blaine grinned at the "Welcome Home" banner strung across Kurt's - correction - their room._

_"It does feel like home, now that we're together, doesn't it?"_

_Kurt intertwined his fingers with Blaine's and led him to the bed. "I'm so glad you're finally here. It feels like my life is just beginning."_

_Blaine's eyes flared with love and lust. Their lips met, moving against each other slowly, savoring every moment. Blaine ran his top teeth along Kurt's bottom lip, causing Kurt to groan and arch his back. No matter how much of Blaine he had, he could never have enough._

_Blaine pushed Kurt backward so he was sitting up against the headboard, and straddled his waist. Their hard-ons strained against one another desperately._

_"Why are you still wearing clothes?" Kurt muttered into Blaine's mouth. Blaine lifted his arms, and Kurt reached up, pulling the shirt over his head. The view of his shirtless fiancé was enough to make his cock throb. He couldn't wait a second longer to feel Blaine's skin against his own. Moments later, the rest of the clothing separating the boys had vanished._

_Kurt's hungry mouth found Blaine's collarbone - his weakness. His tongue teased along the length of his chest, finally resting just below Blaine's neck and sucking the sensitive skin there. Blaine had thrown his head back and was emitting tiny whines, grinding his hips down into Kurt._

_Kurt's hands roamed over Blaine's defined back._

_"You are so sexy," he whispered as he found Blaine's mouth again._

_"You think I'm sexy now?" Blaine responded, causing Kurt to shiver with anticipation._

_Blaine planted kisses from Kurt's mouth, down his neck, to his torso, and finally down to the spot Kurt longed for him to find._

_"Oh hell," Kurt's hands flew to tangle in Blaine's hair. He was right - nothing was sexier than watching Blaine go down on him. Blaine let out a hum of pleasure when Kurt tugged a handful of his hair and then pushed his head back down. He loved watching Kurt lose himself to his primal instincts like this._

_Blaine felt Kurt's thigh pushing against his bicep, and instantly understood what he wanted. He spread Kurt's legs wide and lifted his head to look straight into Kurt's eyes, which were squinted in frustration at the lack of Blaine's mouth on his cock._

_Blaine raised his finger to his mouth and sucked, before lowering it to Kurt's hole. He teased the opening slowly, making Kurt squirm._

_"Now, Blaine," Kurt demanded._

_All at once, Blaine closed his mouth again around his cock, and inserted his finger into Kurt._

_  
"Shit. Fuck!" Kurt was only half aware of Blaine grinning against his dick. He knew that one of the things that turned him on beyond belief was Kurt's was his dirty mouth in the bedroom._

_Blaine slowly introduced a second finger, then a third. Kurt didn't protest - he only ground down into Blaine._

_"No...Blaine...you have to - mmmm - stop. Get inside me. Now."_

_Without hesitation, Blaine pulled off Kurt and sat back on his heels._

_"Turn around and hold the headboard," commanded Blaine._

_Kurt obeyed immediately, kneeling with his ass in the air and bracing himself. He heard Blaine spreading lube on himself before he felt him come up from behind and grab his hips._

_The two murmured each other's names simultaneously as Blaine entered Kurt._

_"Mmm, God, Kurt. You feel so good." Blaine stilled and waited for Kurt's signal to keep going. Kurt bit his lip as he adjusted to Blaine's size. He pulled his hips forward slightly to tell Blaine to start moving._

_"Oh...fuck...me…" Kurt moaned._

_"As you wish," Blaine leaned forward and wrapped one arm around Kurt's waist, the other grabbing his cock. His strokes matched his thrusts, and he was placing kisses against Kurt's back. Kurt was hardly able to hold himself together._

_"Oh my God. Oh. My. God!" He felt himself tightening, and knew he wouldn't last much longer. "I'm so..." He panted. The muscles in his arms and shoulders tensed as he gripped the headboard with all of his strength, letting his head dip._

_"I know, baby," Blaine told him. "Me too. You're so fucking hot like this."_

_The words put Kurt over the edge. He yelled out as he came, Blaine following seconds later with a cry. He continued to place fleeting kisses on Kurt's back, which was now glistening with sweat. Kurt managed to peel his fingers off of the headboard, dying to get his hands on Blaine._

_Grabbing a towel from the nightstand, Blaine gingerly pulled out, and the two collapsed onto the bed. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine and looked into his eyes._

_"Are you okay? Was that too-?" Blaine began._

_Kurt silenced him with a quick kiss. "More than okay. You make me feel like a sex addict," He said. "I wish I could do this every minute of every day for the rest of forever."_

_Blaine laughed. "Lucky for you, starting today, you have me every day for the rest of forever."_

Kurt sighed, instinctively reaching out to Blaine's side of the bed. When he found nothing there, he pulled his knees to his chest, closed his eyes, and tried to do anything he could to ignore the emptiness and loneliness in his chest.


	4. Chapter 4

Each morning, Kurt woke up hopeful. His eyes flew open and he searched his room for any difference, any indication that things had changed back. And each morning, he woke up alone and disappointed.

It felt almost robotic, the way he went through the motions: getting dressed, doing his hair (he couldn't bear the way this Kurt had apparently been wearing it), sitting through awfully boring prerequisite classes for his undetermined major (he decided that when things switched back, other Kurt would not be very happy if he had been kicked out of NYU for not attending classes), pretending to enjoy Rachel's exceptionally mediocre cooking (which he hadn't had to do in quite a while since Blaine usually cooked for them), and trying to keep his mind busy during his down time.

On the sixth day of his new life, Kurt's sense of excitement nearly drowned out his disappointment at waking up alone again. Today was Thursday. Today he would see Blaine.

He was jittery with anticipation. The coffee aimed for his favorite I Love NYC mug (a gift from his dad after his first visit to New York) nearly splattered all over the counter. He breathed deeply and attempted to steady his shaking hands. He had no idea what he would say to Blaine - after all, what do you say to someone who doesn't have the slightest clue who you are but is your soulmate in another life?

The sound of a throat clearing startled him, causing him to actually spill the coffee over the counter this time.

He spluttered, flustered. "Rachel! What are you still doing here? I thought you had early classes on Thursdays?"

"Good morning, Kurt. I think it's time you and I have a little talk." Kurt mopped up the spilled liquid without removing his eyes from her. He hadn't noticed at first glance, but she sat on the couch, back straight, ankles crossed, and next to her was a posterboard that read "INTERVENTION."

Kurt internally rolled his eyes and approached her. This just screamed _Rachel_.

"This is an intervention," she announced proudly.

"I can see that," he shifted his gaze pointedly to the poster she had made. "Also, can you even do an intervention with one person?"

"Yes, well, our other friends blew me off and told me I was crazy."

_They have a point,_ he thought.

"Anyway, I am here today because I love you and I care about you and I want you to get the help you need."

"You're being ridiculous."

"Please, Kurt."

Inhale strength. Exhale insanity. He appeased her. "Help with what?"

"Your depression," Rachel said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

_Oh shit_. "I'm not depressed, Rachel."

"They always get defensive during an intervention," she muttered under her breath. Then louder, "There's no need for denial, Kurt. I'm your best friend. You can be open and honest with me. I've watched you over the past week. You're acting erratically. You spend a lot of time in bed. You hardly make it to your classes. You're not you. What's going on?" She probed.

"I don't think you're ready for open and honest. Just let it go. I'll be fine." He started to turn away, but she caught his forearm in her small hand.

"Please tell me," she begged. "You can trust me." The pleading look in her eyes was what got him. It was the look she wore any time she was hurting, or watching a friend hurt. It was the look she wore when she begged him to let her curl up in bed with him after Finn died so that neither of them would have to be alone.

He perched himself next to her on the couch. "Fine. But you're going to think I've lost it."

"I already think that."

He told her everything. He told her about the wish, about Blaine, about his old life. To his surprise, she listened to him talk without opening her mouth once.

"...So that's why I've been acting differently," he concluded.

Rachel forced her widened eyes to blink. "I-I don't even kn-know where to start. So many questions."

"Pick one," he steeled himself.

She obviously couldn't. "How could you wish something like that? What are you going to do? What are you going to say-"

His sharp laugh cut her off. He was amazed that she seemed to believe him. Then he slumped back against the couch.

"I honestly couldn't even tell you what I was thinking. I was just so secretly afraid that I was holding myself back because of this relationship. Now I realize that's bullshit. Hindsight and all…"

"So what will you do when you see him?"

Kurt sighed. "I have no clue. Every scenario I can think of involves me seriously creeping him out. I think...I think that I need to start by just seeing him. If he's happy, maybe there's no point." He frowned at this realization.

"Don't say that. If you're meant to be together in one world, how could you be meant to be apart in another?"

"I don't know. I can't picture a life in which Blaine is happy without me, and I'm happy without him. I mean, look at the Kurt you know! He might not realize how miserable he is, but there is so much he's missing! God, this sounds so pathetic. Like I need a man to be happy. But it's not just any man, it's _the_ man. It's Blaine. And we make each other better. At least, now I'm positive that he makes me better."

Fuck. He'd never considered that the roles could be reversed. He'd never thought that maybe he was the one holding Blaine back. Blaine had always asserted that he belonged with Kurt. There was no way Kurt could be keeping him from his potential, right? He felt sick again.

Rachel rubbed his back in consolation. "There's no way to know until you see him. But from what you've told me, there's no doubt in my mind that your Blaine feels the same way about you. Listen," she took one of his hands into both of hers. "The Kurt I know wouldn't let this throw him. It sounds like my Kurt and you are very similar in that respect. He's very much like you at the core, you know. More than you realize. Life has just beaten him down over and over, and he's sick of forcing himself back up. You're much more vibrant and full of life. It's truly beautiful. I'm going to miss it when you go."

"If I have anything to say about it, I'll make sure this Kurt gets his happily ever after too."

A few moments passed without either of them talking.

"I can't believe Kurt 2.0 is engaged. You know I'm a sucker for a good proposal story. Tell me all about the proposal!"

So he did. He told her all about the breakup and their tentative relationship, and how though Kurt hadn't been surprised that Blaine was proposing, he was awestruck by the proposal itself. He recalled the masses of show choir singers lining the halls of Dalton Academy, coming together to create the perfect moment, and the earth-shattering speech Blaine gave him. He told her how when it was over, there was no doubt left in his mind that "Yes" was the right answer.

What he didn't tell her was how after, Blaine had slipped him a piece of paper with an address on it and whispered that he would meet up with Kurt in an hour. How Burt had driven him to the hotel that Blaine had reserved for them and told Kurt (with a wink) not to do anything he wouldn't do. How Kurt scrambled around to make everything perfect before Blaine arrived an hour later.

_Kurt stood nervously as he listened to the click of the key card in the door. He was now second guessing his move to surprise Blaine like this. What if it wasn't what he wanted at all? But his nerves melted away the second he saw Blaine's gorgeous face light up with surprise and excitement. Without missing a beat, Blaine crossed the room and threw himself into Kurt's arms. Kurt let his eyes drift shut. He breathed in Blaine's clean, soapy scent._

_"What is all this?" Blaine spoke, referring to the rose petals, chocolate covered strawberries, and champagne in the room._

_"I convinced the staff to give us the honeymoon package," Kurt smirked. "You always make such grand romantic gestures, and I wanted to return the favor."_

_Blaine finally pulled away and sat on the bed, dragging Kurt down next to him._

_"You know I don't expect anything…"_

_Kurt nodded. A moment passed as they looked into each other's loving eyes without speaking._

_Blaine broke the silence with his hesitant voice. "I half-thought you were going to say no to my proposal."_

_"I half-thought I would, too," Kurt admitted._

_"What swayed your decision?" the way that Blaine was looking at him was so intense that he nearly shuddered._

_"You did. You always do."_

_Blaine leaned forward to capture his lips in a tender kiss. "I love you so much, Kurt."_

_"I am constantly blown away by the depth of my feelings for you. I can't imagine being engaged-" he jumped excitedly at the word, "-to anyone else. I am so looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you."_

_Blaine attempted to kiss him again, but he held onto his shoulders and kept him at arm's length._

_"Thank you for your unwavering faith in us. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for everything you are and everything you make me." He glanced at his left hand. "You gave me this beautiful ring to symbolize our love and commitment. To me, it means that my heart, body, and soul belong to you exclusively." His hand left Blaine's shoulder to dig around in his pocket. "If you'll accept it, I would like you to wear this so that you have a tangible representation of our love." He held out a thick, brushed silver band outlined by two thin strips of shining gold._

_Blaine's hand flew to cover his heart. "You didn't have to...how long have you had this?"_

_"Since shortly after I met you, actually." He ignored Blaine's gasp. "My dad must have seen something in the way I talked about you and gave it to me when he realized I'd met the love of my life. It's the ring my mom gave him on their wedding day. I intended to save it for our wedding, but this ring feels so insanely good on me, and I want you to have one too." He stopped, noticing the dumbfounded look on Blaine's face. He shyly pulled his hand back toward his lap, feeling a blush creep across his chest and neck. Maybe Blaine didn't want it after all. "You don't have to wear it now if you don't want to-" Blaine made a grab for the ring and slid it on his left fourth finger in one fluid motion. Suddenly, he was tackling Kurt onto his back and covering his face in kisses. Kurt felt hot tears dropping onto his forehead._

_"This means so much to me, Kurt, I can't even begin to put it into words. I promise I will do everything in my power to honor Elizabeth Hummel by being the best husband I can possibly be."_

_His words choked up Kurt too. "I know you will. Why do you think I said yes?"_

_The loving looks they exchanged spoke louder than words, but another emotion was coming to the surface. Wanting._

_"Come on. Let's go try out that jacuzzi tub in the bathroom."_

_They popped the bottle of champagne and brought glasses with them as they sank into the warm water. It wasn't long before the glasses of champagne were forgotten, though, and Kurt climbed into Blaine's lap, straddling his trim waist._

_Their kisses were slow and methodical, tongues tasting every last inch of each other. When it came to each other's bodies, the two men were never sated. And though they had just promised each other forever, they couldn't imagine wanting each other and loving each other more than they did in that moment._

_Blaine's nails scratched lightly at Kurt's scalp. Kurt's arms wrapped around Blaine's neck, pulling him impossibly closer. Their bodies pressed together without a millimeter separating any part of them. Kurt ran his fingers along the skin near Blaine's collarbone, eliciting a low growl from deep within Blaine. In return, Blaine kissed down Kurt's neck, sucking lightly at his pulse point, causing him to moan in pleasure. Kurt was grinding down into him now, their hard-ons growing along with their desire._

_Blaine's finger traveled down Kurt's back and found his opening. Kurt yelped at the contact. His hole was suddenly full, and he opened to accommodate the welcome intrusion. He lived for the feeling he experienced when Blaine brushed over his most sensitive spot. Kurt rocked into Blaine's hand over and over, whispering little "fucks" every time._

_"I want to make love to you," Kurt whispered unevenly._

_Blaine nodded, removed his fingers from Kurt, and tried to move from under him, misunderstanding._

_"No," Kurt pushed him back down. Blaine's eyes searched his questioningly. He would do anything Kurt asked him to do without hesitation. But he was going to need him to be a little more specific. "I don't want you to bottom. But I want to make love to you," Kurt explained, positioning himself over Blaine's cock, and pressing down lightly._

_"Oh!" Blaine realized Kurt wanted to ride him. "Oh. Shit. Oh god. Okay." He swallowed hard. This had only happened in his fantasies so far._

_Kurt smiled before reclaiming Blaine's lips. Blaine's fingers were gripping his hips so hard he might have bruises tomorrow, but he couldn't care less. He pushed down gently onto Blaine's cock, and took in a sharp breath. He rested his forehead against Blaine's, staring deeply into his eyes. He couldn't imagine ever trusting another soul enough to let down all his guards like this and hand himself completely over to his instincts. If anything was certain, it was that Blaine was it for him._

_He began moving slowly. Blaine watched him, totally enthralled._

_"Jesus, Kurt, I won't last long," he groaned. "That's so good…"_

_Kurt maintained his slow pace, savoring every second, and memorizing the feel of Blaine inside of him. Being in control was definitely a turn-on. Blaine was meeting each of his downward motions with a thrust of his own._

_Kurt felt it building inside of him. "I love you m-more than -_ ah! _\- anything," he said hoarsely._

_Blaine's frantic pants met his ears. "I'm-_ oh my god _-"_

_Kurt thrust harder, forcing Blaine's cock to brush against him in that spot, which sent him spiraling out of control. He came into the water._

_"I love you Kurt!" Blaine yelled, thrusting once more, and coming hard._

_Blaine pulled Kurt down on top of him without pulling out. Their hearts pounded against one another as their breathing slowed. When he could finally move again, Blaine brushed damp hair out of Kurt's eyes. "You are everything I'll ever need."_

When Kurt and Rachel arrived at the piano bar, Blaine was already playing.

Kurt's heart stuttered when he saw the beautiful man singing along to an acoustic version of Super Bass. Top 40. Classic Blaine. He felt a pull originating from somewhere in his chest that seemed to be leading him directly toward Blaine. Rachel trailed along behind him as he steered them to one of the tables closest to the piano and sat down with an enraptured look on his face. Where they were seated, if Blaine looked up from his piano, his eyes would land on Kurt and Rachel.

Blaine looked amazing. Different, but still amazing. He wore a dark gray v-neck t-shirt under a light gray unbuttoned cardigan that was pushed halfway up his forearms. His dark curls were loose and wild beneath a light gray knit beanie, and he sported large, thick-framed glasses.

_Lord help me,_ Kurt thought. _Hipster Blaine. Helloooo, new fantasy._

He couldn't tear his eyes away. The first time Blaine looked up, his eyes widened slightly in surprise at Kurt's gaze on him. He gave a small smile, then looked back down.

The second time Blaine looked up, his eyes lingered for a few seconds longer. Kurt could feel Blaine's studying his face. He blushed slightly, and felt a little jumpy. What if this Blaine didn't like the way he looked? Blaine gave him a quick wink, assuring him otherwise.

"It's no wonder you like him," Rachel said. "He's cute!"

"He's so damn sexy," Kurt muttered quietly. He took a sip of his virgin Bloody Mary and forced his gaze to shift to Rachel.

"Kurt!" Rachel sounded scandalized.

Kurt shrugged. "He's my fiancé."

"No, he's not."

Kurt turned his attention back to the pianist. How strange this feeling was, to watch the one person who he knew better than anyone and realize he didn't know the first thing about him. He couldn't wrap his mind around how he knew every intricacy of Blaine's life and personality, yet this person in front of him had no clue who he was. More than ever, he longed to go back home to his real life. Since he apparently had no control over that, though, he resigned himself to living in the moment. Maybe it was possible for him to connect with this Blaine, after all.

"Thank you all for coming out tonight. I hope you're enjoying the show!" The audience cheered heartily. "I'm surprising myself by playing this next song, since I don't even like Katy Perry. But I'm feeling a compulsion to play it tonight." He cleared his throat.

As he tapped out the first few notes of the all-too-familiar song, Kurt made an awkward squeak, and leaned forward in his seat, mesmerized by the musician in front of him. He knew he was being a little aggressive with his stares, but he couldn't help it. This song had been with them through so much. It was only natural it would find them here too.

Blaine looked up for the third time, eyes finding Kurt's effortlessly. This time, he didn't look away. Kurt blushed at how intimate it felt, being sung to in a room full of strangers. it seemed as though Blaine's soul was speaking directly to his. He had watched Blaine play and sing hundreds of times before, but this felt like it was the first time again.

_It is for him_ , he reminded himself. It wasn't the only time since he'd found himself in this predicament that he'd had to remind himself that Blaine didn't know him. It was taking all of the strength he had to physically restrain himself from running up to the piano and engulfing Blaine in his arms.

Blaine's voice smoothly skated over the notes of the final bridge, sending chills down Kurt's spine. He couldn't help but to think that this was the same Blaine he knew and loved. At the same time, it all felt new and exciting. He couldn't wait to talk to Blaine when his set was over. He still had no idea what he would say, but he was now sure that it would be as easy as it always was between them.

Blaine played through the rest of his songs with an increasing sense of urgency. Kurt wondered if he was as anxious to connect as he was. Finally, Blaine stood from his bench and spoke to the audience.

"You all have been such an amazing crowd for the past year, which makes it very difficult for me to announce that next Thursday will be my last night playing here." The audience's reaction was not disappointing. It was clear that Blaine had loyal fans here who had grown to love watching him play. "But...I've just been offered a role in a new film. I got my big break! I can't tell you what movie it is, but let's just say it'll be filming right here in our own New York City!"

Before he fully realized what was happening, Kurt's chest constricted, and he struggled to breathe evenly. He was finding it hard to concentrate on a single thought. _He's happy_ , he kept thinking. _He's successful. He's better off._

This is what he wanted, isn't it? All he ever wanted was for Blaine to be happy.

Rachel's hand was on his arm. "We agreed. You said you'd leave it alone if he was happy."

Kurt nodded woodenly. He couldn't believe he had let himself hope again, only to have it crushed. Again. Rachel hugged him consolingly.

The fourth time Blaine looked up, the man he was searching for was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

 

Blaine had always been a star. The biggest. The brightest. This version of him, sans Kurt, just seemed to be a little bigger and a little brighter.

The morning after seeing Blaine play, Kurt couldn't stop pacing his room. He didn't think he had ever paced so much in his life. Agonizing thoughts chased each other around in his head.

He was the one who needed Blaine. Blaine had never needed him. He was holding Blaine back from his destiny. This Blaine was better off without ever meeting Kurt. He would keep it that way.

But...

But.

Was _his_ Blaine better off without him too? Now that he had seen what Blaine could be, he wasn't sure he could go back to watching Blaine not live up to it.

His heart was tearing apart slowly inside his chest. Even entertaining the thought of leaving Blaine caused unbearable pain.

For the first time, he actually wished he had classes to go to to take his mind off of things.

Sighing, he flopped down on his stomach on the couch and cracked the lid of his laptop.

His finger hovered over the "B" key. He remembered what happened the last time he searched for Blaine on Facebook. He hadn't even gotten past his cover photo before having to stop.

Sebastian. He wondered how Sebastian played into this Blaine's life. He hadn't seen him at the bar last night, but he and Blaine looked to happy together in the picture. It was possible that they were just good friends, he supposed. After all, if it hadn't been for Kurt and the unfortunate rock salt slushie incident, Blaine and Sebastian might be friends in his regular life.

His fingers finished typing out "Blaine Anderson" and he was suddenly cringing at the picture in question. He scrolled further down the page. Most of the posts were people sending their congratulations on being cast in the movie, but a few were pictures that Blaine was tagged in. In almost all of the pictures, Blaine had his arm around a different guy. Kurt could only think of one word that described Blaine as he was portrayed on his Facebook page. _Douchebag_. And Kurt did not like using words that perpetuated gender stereotypes, but there was no other way to describe how he came across.

One picture wasn't like the others, and that is what caught Kurt's attention. The picture showed Blaine kneeling down in front of a little girl who looked to be about 4 years old. He was holding out his guitar and letting her strum the strings. She had a look of wonderment on her face, and he beamed at her, all inhibitions gone. The caption was written by the little girl's father, thanking Blaine for taking the time out of his day to talk to his daughter after she had seen him perform in the park.

_This_ was the Blaine he knew. There may have been Sebastian, and big breaks, and multiple different men, and overall douchiness, but it was beyond comforting to see Blaine as Kurt knew him.

He was jerked from his research by a knock on the door. He glanced at the oversized, industrial clock on the wall. Tina and Artie were supposed to come over at 12 to work on a new film of Artie's, but it was only 11:15. It was just like Tina to be obscenely early.

"Come in, Tina!" He called.

When she didn't come in, he hauled himself off the couch heavily and went to let her in.

"Didn't you hear me?" He said, opening the door. "I said come in."

"Okay." Someone who was definitely NOT Tina spoke. Blaine Anderson was pushing past him to enter his apartment. Blaine Anderson was strutting through his loft. Blaine Anderson was making himself comfortable on a barstool while he was still standing dumbly in the doorway.

"Huuuuuuuuh...what are you doing here?" Kurt asked when he began regaining control of his brain. He slid the door closed again and walked cautiously toward the kitchen island.

Blaine's cocky smile froze in place. He seemed to be warring internally. Kurt softened his own face in hopes that he looked unintimidating. Blaine seemed to find comfort in Kurt's look, his eyes softening a bit too. "I came to see you," Blaine said quietly. The cool facade completely dissolved and a shy smile replaced the cocky one. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. Yesterday was kind of…"

"Magical," Kurt finished, stepping closer. Blaine rewarded him with a dazzling grin. Kurt spoke again, still barely coherent. "Um...how did you find me?"

He immediately regretted asking that question. The coolness returned to Blaine as he threw up his guard again. "I recognized the girl you were with yesterday from glee club and happen to know someone who knew her in high school. No big deal" He waved a hand nonchalantly.

Kurt's eyes were bugging out of his head. "It sure sounds like you put a lot of effort into finding me." _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ He berated himself for saying all the wrong things.

Blaine backed away slightly, heat rising in his face, but kept his cool. He twirled a ring around his finger absently. "I thought it might be worth it." He looked up and Kurt thought he saw a flicker of fear in Blaine's eyes. "Is it worth it?"

Kurt gulped, taking another step forward so that he was almost standing between Blaine's knees. He nodded.

"I'm Blaine," he announced in a rough voice. He held out his hand. Kurt took it and felt the familiar tingle of Blaine's touch. He wondered if the other man could feel it too.

"Kurt."

"Kurt. _Who are you_?" It was almost a whisper. Kurt was pretty sure it was a rhetorical question, but before he could consider it any longer, Blaine reached out and grabbed the ends of the scarf that was tied around his neck. Kurt let his eyes dart up toward the sky and thanked the fates that he had purchased new scarves for other Kurt's collection.

Blaine pulled him forward until his perfect face was unbearably close. Kurt could see the vein at his temple pulsing. He swallowed dryly in anticipation.

Soft, cool lips pressed against Kurt's, and it was as if a thousand pounds of tension had been lifted. He realized that for all intents and purposes, this was their first kiss. He wondered what it was like for Blaine. He wondered if Blaine also felt like he was walking on air, if he, too, felt like he was meant to be there, kissing him.

Blaine's tongue prodded at Kurt's mouth, begging entry, which Kurt allowed instantly. Their tongues swirled together in a flurry of excitement. Kurt rested his hand on Blaine's neck and jaw, rubbing his thumb over the spot behind Blaine's ear that never failed to make him purr. And purr he did. He walked his fingers down Kurt's chest and began to undo the buttons at the top of his shirt, breathing heavily into Kurt's mouth all the while.

Kurt's skin burned where Blaine touched him, leaving him wanting more and more. He pulled Blaine's v-neck henley off hurriedly, hand wandering to his collarbone.

As Kurt lightly brushed along the line he knew drove Blaine crazy, he heard the other man's breath hitch. He lowered his lips to the place he had been caressing, sucking lightly at the sensitive skin there.

Blaine's hands clenched fistfuls of Kurt's hair.

"Ah! How... _how did you know_?" A hand trailed down Kurt's neck and landed to rest on his bare, porcelain chest. The cold metal of a ring shocked Kurt, and he looked down.

Time stopped for a moment. It was the ring. His father's ring. The missing link to his real life that he had been searching for. His hand grasped Blaine's wrist and held up his hand in front of his face.

"Where did you get this?"

Blaine looked shocked, probably caught off guard by the abrupt change of direction.

"A pawn shop in Ohio." He reached forward in an attempt to resume the kiss, but Kurt pulled away. His head was clear now, and he realized how crazy this all was.

"Come on," Blaine stretched his hand toward the button on Kurt's jeans.

"I'm sorry, Blaine, I can't." He bit his lip. A quick flash of rejection, then Blaine pulled back and stood up. It was clear that being asked to stop was not something that happened to Blaine often. Kurt's instinct to protect Blaine's feelings kicked in.

"It's just...we just met?" Kurt phrased it like a question, because it was such a strange thing to say to someone he had known for years.

"It's all right. I have somewhere to be anyway." Blaine lazily shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Please stay."

"I shouldn't."

"Then let's go get lunch."

"I said I have somewhere to be," Blaine sounded annoyed.

"Okay," Kurt sighed, resigned. "It was great to see you."

Blaine laughed and gave him one last conflicted look before walking out the door, as unexpectedly as he had entered.

\---

"So he just _left_?!" Rachel shrieked.

"Ugh, cool it a little, would you? My shattered eardrum is still recovering from the last time you used that tone! Yes, he just left. One second, I was contemplating if I should break up with my Blaine, then the next, new Blaine was bursting through our door. Before I knew it, we were having the most inspired make-out session, and then, yes. He just left." Kurt massaged his temples. This roller coaster ride was giving him a headache.

"However much he blew it off, he put in the effort to find you. You had such an intense connection. Maybe it just scares him."

"That's exactly what I'm thinking. He's hiding behind hookups so he doesn't have to face his feelings."

"Well, then there's only one thing for you to do."

"What's that?"

"It's your turn to go find him."

Luckily, Kurt had seen on Blaine's Facebook page that he was going to be playing a gig at a local coffee shop the next evening. He'd had a late class that night, but showed up just as the set was over and Blaine was standing to sling his guitar over his shoulder and thank everyone. He locked eyes with Kurt the second he walked in the door, but then averted his gaze and didn't look back at him again.

Kurt sighed. Maybe this wouldn't be as simple as he had originally thought.

Blaine walked toward the back, Kurt following close behind.

"Blaine!" he called, clearly within earshot, but the man he was in pursuit of did not acknowledge him.

Blaine disappeared through the back door. Kurt intended to follow, but a tall figure blocked the way.

Sebastian.

"Hi there. Aren't you a pretty thing? A little feminine for my taste, but yummy just the same."

Kurt ignored him. "I need to speak with Blaine."

Sebastian smirked. "Oh, it makes sense now. You're totally his type. Let me guess. You hooked up with him and now you want to see him again."

Kurt's unwanted blush gave him away. "That's none of your business."

"I'm his best friend. It's all my business. That's it, isn't it? Well, sorry to burst your pretty little bubble, but Blaine never fucks the same person twice. You can leave now."

Kurt felt horrified, then angry. He threw his hands up in aggravation. "How can every version of you be so infuriating? Get out of my way" He pushed Sebastian out of the way and opened the back door.

Blaine was leaning against the wall of the neighboring building with his arm around a tall, thin man who had his face buried in Blaine's neck, kissing him.

"Blaine." When he saw Kurt, he frowned. Then his look turned to one of betrayal. He threw an accusatory glare at Sebastian.

"Sorry, man! He's pushy...I can definitely see the appeal."

Kurt disregarded Sebastian. "Blaine. Would you like to get coffee with me?"

He barked out a laugh. "I'm a little busy right now," he looked pointedly at the man who was still going to town on his neck, seemingly unnoticing Blaine's lack of attention.

"Tomorrow, then. I'll be here in the morning. Join me if you can."

"I'm not sure what I have going on tomorrow." He looked around nonchalantly.

Kurt was shooting that pleading, "trust me" look in Blaine's direction. Something in Blaine's expression changed momentarily. Kurt stared back for a minute before turning on his heel to leave.

He heard muffled voices through the door that he let slam shut behind him.

"Is that the one?"

"The very same…"

\---

Kurt was sitting at the coffee shop where he was supposed to meet Blaine. He had been sitting. For an hour.

He should have known Blaine wouldn't show. It would have been way too easy. Blaine was obviously having some sort of internal struggle. One second he let Kurt see him open and vulnerable, and the next, he was acting completely closed off and like he couldn't be bothered to care about anything. He could only imagine what was going on inside of Blaine's head.

Kurt sighed, collected his items, and headed out to walk to the train.

Around the corner, he came to an abrupt stop when he found himself face-to-face with Blaine's car. Or...at least...the car his Blaine had. And...he peeked into the window, trying without success to be inconspicuous...sure enough, someone was sitting inside, gripping the steering wheel.

Kurt tapped on the window. Blaine's head turned slightly to the side. When he saw that it was Kurt, he turned back straight ahead. A second later, Kurt heard the click of the automatic locks.

He opened the door and climbed into the passenger seat. Blaine still didn't look at him.

"You're here."

A nod.

"But you didn't come in.

Head shake.

Kurt didn't press the issue. They sat in silence for a few moments before Kurt reached into his messenger bag and offered the contents to Blaine.

"I got you a muffin. I actually bought you a coffee too, but I drank that while I was waiting, so…"

Blaine released his fingers from their death grip on the steering wheel and took the muffin, still without looking at Kurt. He seemed to think about it for a second before he set down the muffin. He squeezed his eyes together and tilted his head back against the headrest.

"God, this is _exactly_ why I couldn't come in."

"Because you are offended by people buying you muffins?" Kurt jabbed.

He finally let his gaze fall on Kurt. His eyes were burning with frustration and confusion. "Because you're the kind of person who buys guys muffins and coffee without them asking. Because you're too kind and too innocent."

"You didn't think I was too innocent at my apartment the other day."

Blaine ignored this and continued. "You're probably the kind of guy who wants a long-term relationship and to fall in love. And I can't give you that."

"What if all I'm looking for is to go on a date and get to know you?"

"I don't date."

"You don't date? Or you don't want to date?"

"Is there a difference? All guys want is sex, anyway, and I'm more than willing to give that up without all of the nonsense."

Kurt shot him a look that told Blaine he could see straight through all of his shit.

Blaine didn't respond. He resumed his rigid posture and blasé expression.

"Let's go take a walk around the park," Kurt offered. Blaine's mouth popped open slightly, as if he were surprised Kurt was still pursuing this after what he had said. "We don't have to call it a date. We don't even have to talk if you don't want to."

To his surprise Blaine agreed.

As they walked, Kurt began asking questions. Of course, he knew most of the answers before they could leave Blaine's lips. (What's your favorite movie? (Casablanca.) Do you have any siblings? (One, Cooper.) What's your favorite color? (Navy.)

But some answers surprised him. (If you could be anything other than an actor/musician, what would you be? (Music Therapist.) Do you like children? (No.)

At first, Blaine seemed uncomfortable and answered with terse, single-word answers. But as they went on, Kurt could see Blaine visibly loosening up, and beginning to actually have fun.

"I can't believe you were in glee club too! I remember your friend from competitions, but not you. There's no way. I wouldn't have forgotten someone like you."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?" He reached out automatically to put one of Blaine's out-of-control curls back in place, but pulled his hand back when he realized what he was doing.

Blaine brushed it off. "Hey, you should sing with me at one of my gigs." He seemed to realize he had just broken one of his rules and had offered to make plans for the future, so he changed the subject immediately. "Look at that woman pushing her cats in the double stroller. What do you think her story is?"

Kurt's heart leapt. This was one of his and Blaine's favorite pastimes. He resisted the urge to reach over and grab his hand.

"It's tragic. Her family was killed in a horrific golf cart incident, and now she hoards animals and treats them like her children. She enjoys reading raunchy romance novels and making homemade hand soaps."

"Don't forget the fact that she has no less than 3 restraining orders against her by Oprah, Steve Harvey, and Dr. Phil."

"Which are also the names of her 3 favorite cats."

Blaine's carefree smile was contagious. Kurt loved knowing he could make this side of Blaine shine through. As they neared his car again, Kurt held out his hand.

"Phone," he commanded. When Blaine hesitated, Kurt prodded. "I'm not going to run away with it. I just want to give you my number."

Blaine complied. When Kurt had stored his number in the phone, he returned it to Blaine's outstretched hand. Their fingers brushed upon the exchange, causing a chill to run through Kurt's body.

"If you want to do this again sometime, just give me a call. I'd love to go on another not-date with you."

He was not used to Blaine being speechless; he was usually so chatty. It was actually kind of fun being the one taking the lead, as Blaine had done when he and Kurt first got together in their other life together.

Blaine still hadn't responded, so Kurt waved and went on his way, hoping beyond hope that he would get a call soon.

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

The low vibration of Kurt's phone alerting him to an incoming call jolted him awake. It was 1:15am, and the caller ID read "Unknown." Hoping it would be Blaine, he answered anyway.

"Hello?"

"Hello...Kurt...Hummel…" Blaine spoke each sound of Kurt's name with great precision. Kurt could tell by the light, boyish quality of Blaine's voice that he had been drinking. This would be interesting.

"Hello, Blaine Anderson."

"Hey. Kurt Hummel. Why did you call me?"

Kurt let out a laugh. "I didn't. You called me."

"Oh." Blaine must have thought he was holding the phone away from his face, but he still ended up shouting more or less directly into Kurt's ear. "Hey! Sebastian! Kurt fucking Hummel is on the phone! He called me!"

Kurt couldn't help but to laugh again. He heard a muffled response on the other line, then Blaine spoke to him again.

"I had a really nice time with you the other day. Do you think we could do it again sometime?"

Kurt smiled. "I'm doing trivia with some friends from high school tomorrow night. Do you want to join us?"

"YES!" Kurt had to hold the phone away from his ear. "I AM THE TRIVIA MASTER OF THE FUCKING UNIVERSE!"

After taking a moment to compose himself, Kurt said, "Great. I'll text you the details."

"You're so great. So much greater than I deserve."

Kurt was about to refute that statement when Blaine shouted to Sebastian again. "Seb! Don't you think Kurt is so great?"

"I think it's time for you to go to bed before you say something dumb."

"Okay, Sebastian thinks I'm dumb. Good night, Kurt Hummel. Thanks for calling me."

"Good night, Blaine."

\---

The trivia crew was arguing about team names when Kurt felt a hand lightly touch his shoulder.

"Blaine!" He jumped. He had not expected him to actually come. The look on Blaine's face told Kurt he hadn't expected it either. Kurt slid over to make room for him.

"Hey everyone. This is Blaine. Blaine, this is Rachel, Tina, Artie, Brittany, and Sam." They waved when he rattled off their names.

"Why don't we call ourselves the New Directions?" Sam offered.

Rachel and Tina put hands to their hearts in unison and said "Aww!"

"You're too cute," Blaine winked at Tina. "And Sam, have you ever considered modeling before?"

Kurt watched Blaine in awe. He had seen his Blaine work his magical charisma on groups of new people before, but it never failed to amaze him just how naturally Blaine interacted with and charmed people. He wondered how it was possible for this Blaine to have so few real friends when he was so charismatic. The Blaine he knew was better for befriending his fellow glee-clubbers. He wondered if this one could be too.

It was easy, sitting here with his friends, to forget that the Blaine sitting next to him wasn't his. He caught himself a few times - unwrapping a straw and sticking it in Blaine's root beer, stealing Blaine's pickle when their food came - things that had become second nature to him over the years.

The worst slip-up, though, came later in the night. The team was dominating at trivia. Their collective knowledge of music helped, but each person also had their own areas of strength - Brittany's was math, Artie's was film, Sam's was sports, Tina's was art, Rachel's was pop culture, Kurt's was fashion, and Blaine, as it turned out, was a history buff.

Kurt was ecstatic that Blaine was hitting it off so well with his friends, that he forgot he had to be careful about what he was saying.

When a question about the largest species of sharks came up, he blurted out, "Oh, Blaine! We know this one! We learned it that time we went to the aquarium in Chicago, remember?"

Blaine was giving him a blank stare. He sought out Rachel's eyes and gave her a "help me" look.

"Uhh, Kurt, I think you said Blaine. You meant me. We went to Chicago together." He was so thankful for Rachel sometimes. Sometimes being the operative word.

"Isn't it strange, though?" Brittany spoke up. "Blaine, do you ever feel like even though you just met Kurt, that you've known him for a long time?"

"Brittany S. Pierce!" Kurt hollered across the table. He changed the subject immediately.

The rest of the evening passed more smoothly. Kurt's friends started trickling out to go home, leaving just him and Blaine.

"Did you have fun?" Kurt asked. Blaine now seemed almost completely relaxed, as if something that he had been previously missing had fallen back into place.

"I did." His smile was brilliant. "Your friends are great, Kurt."

"They sure are."

"You know, what Brittany said earlier...about feeling like I've known you forever…"

Kurt felt panic rising in his chest. "Don't worry about what she says. She's a crazy person. She doesn't-"

"I know exactly what she was talking about. Sometimes I feel that you know me better than I know myself."

Kurt was floored. He hadn't expected such honesty. He was about to respond when someone slid into the booth across from them. Sebastian.

"Hey boys. I was passing by and thought I'd check in to see how things were going." He was eyeing Blaine, apparently looking for signs of distress.

_Wow_ , Kurt realized. _Sebastian actually cares for Blaine. Actually cares for someone besides himself. This universe really is fucked up._

"All is well," Blaine reassured him. But I do need to use the restroom." He excused himself, leaving the two men alone.

Sebastian's eyes fired up as he turned his gaze on Kurt.

"He seems happy."

"Is something the matter with that?" Kurt inquired calmly.

"Blaine has never opened himself up to any guy other than me. Ever."

"Do I detect jealousy?" Kurt leaned back, delighting in the satisfaction of it all. 

"Not at all. But I hope you can detect my irritation now," Sebastian fired back.

"So much so that it's as if I'm feeling it too."

The argumentative look faded from Sebastian's face. "It may not seem this way, but Blaine is...delicate. And for some unfathomable reason, he's chosen you to open up to. So just...please. Please, please be careful with him."

Blaine returned at that moment, settling back in next to Kurt and popping a pretzel bite in his mouth.

"What did you two find to discuss while I was gone?"

The corner of Sebastian's mouth quirked up. "Just a common interest."

As the evening went on, Kurt felt he was getting a better grasp on who this Blaine was, just by seeing him interact with Sebastian. Sebastian put Blaine at ease, made him lighter and happier. Something that would have made his Blaine cringe just knowing.

As Sebastian droned on telling a story of all of the famous people he'd met, Kurt noticed Blaine's attention drifting (not that he could blame him, it must be tiring being Sebastian's best friend, as it was being Rachel's). After Sebastian had to call Blaine's attention back to the story at hand, Kurt followed his line of sight straight to a very attractive man sitting alone a few tables away. Kurt almost gasped. There was nothing innocent in the way the man was looking at Blaine. He whipped his head back around to look at his date.

Blaine looked back at him, startled and wide-eyed, as though he had just realized what he was doing.

"Blaine!" Kurt exploded, jumping up. "How dare you?! You're sitting here, having a nice time with me, a guy who has expressed interest in you time and time again, but you're looking over there, _eye fucking_ some random stranger!" The pitch of his voice grew higher with every word.

Blaine looked extremely taken aback. He was frozen in place.

"I know you say you don't have much experience with dating, but even you should know that this is not how it goes!"

He stormed off, fuming.

\---

_Don't worry about it,_ Rachel had told him. _It must have been an accident._

There was no way Kurt had misread the situation. His lips were nearly bloody with how much he had been chewing on them, fretting about Blaine. The memories of his boyfriend cheating on him were still somewhat fresh in his mind, and though he knew his Blaine would never, never dream of doing anything like that again, it still hurt to think about Blaine being with anyone else when he was supposed to be with him.

He looked forward to tonight, though, to help take his mind off of things. Rachel was due back any moment with ingredients for the dinner they were going to cook. She had even let him choose the movie for the night: _Dirty Dancing_. He and Blaine loved that movie. Back in high school, some time after Sebastian had taken them to Scandals and Kurt realized he had no idea how to dance with any sort of sex appeal, Blaine had taught Kurt to dance to "Love Man" by Otis Redding. They had been in Blaine's room, and it had been eerily reminiscent of Patrick Swayze teaching an awkward, stiff, Jennifer Gray how to dance in Dirty Dancing, but equally as magical.

Then there had been the time they were together in their room in the loft and "Love Man" had come on Blaine's Spotify playlist and they had dropped everything and - he forced himself to stop thinking about Blaine in any capacity for the moment.

A knock came at the door. He sighed. Rachel must have forgotten her keys again. She was always doing that. He made a mental note to get her a fabulously blinged-out lanyard for Christmas.

But it wasn't Rachel at the door. It was Blaine. His heart thumped madly, as was its usual pattern upon seeing the man he loved. He had to remind himself that he was seriously angry at Blaine for being so stupid the night before.

"Before you slam the door on me, let me say something!" Blaine blurted out.

Kurt dropped his hand from the door and stepped out into the hallway to show that he had no intention of shutting the door on him.

"I'm sorry," Blaine spoke again. "About last night." His hands were shoved in his pockets and he looked more timid than Kurt had ever seen him.

"You have to know...Ever since I met you I haven't been with anyone else. I've hardly even thought about anyone else in that way. You're kind of all-consuming." He gave a shy smile. "But I've spent so long ingraining in myself that this is what I do with guys, I flirt with them, pick them up, take them home, and...old habits die hard, I guess. So again I'll say I'm sorry. This time I've spent getting to know you has been the most wonderful, Kurt. I can only hope that you find someone better for you. Someone who actually deserves you. Good bye, Kurt."

He turned with one last wistful glance over his shoulder.

Kurt unfroze and stuck his hands out.

"Wait!"

Blaine turned back to face him sadly.

"What is it?"

"Don't go."

"Why not?"

"I don't want you to."

Blaine practically floated across the few steps that stood between him and Kurt. Kurt caught him around the waist and pulled him close.

"You don't?" Blaine breathed, face just inches away from Kurt's. "You're giving me another chance?" He asked, incredulously.

"Of course I am. Everybody deserves a second chance. You-" Kurt paused, scrunching up his face. "Someone very special to me taught me that."

He caught Blaine's lips in a soft kiss. He sighed, feeling, as he always did when they kissed, a sense of home.

Blaine's hands wandered to the waistband of Kurt's pants and rucked up the bottom of his shirt. He slid his hands across the warm, soft skin at Kurt's lower back. Kurt arched into his touch. In response, he sucked Blaine's lower lip into his mouth, biting softly.

Suddenly, a jarring voice cut through the silence of the moment. "Oh, don't let me interrupt!" Kurt cursed Rachel in his head as she slid past the boys into her apartment. He pulled away slightly, with Blaine's lip still between his teeth. He took a deep breath, rolling his eyes up to the sky, then released Blaine's lip, which made a small popping sound as it found its way back to its rightful owner's mouth.

"You? Interrupt? _Never_!" He still had Blaine by the waist, never wanting to let him go.

Blaine looked disappointed. Kurt wrapped his arms tighter around him. "Rachel and I are going to make dinner and have a movie night. Would you join us?"

\---

The night would have been damn-near perfect, if it had not been for Rachel. Kurt loved her, but how was it possible for one person to be so damn intrusive?

She, of course, demanded to know every detail of Blaine's life. He answered her questions good-naturedly, for which Kurt was grateful, until she said "Wow! Your life is so great. Is there anything you don't have?"

The pained, yet empty look in Blaine's face said it all.

"Okay!" Kurt clapped his hands, sharply drawing Rachel's attention. "Time to start the movie!" He steered his two friends to the couch and plopped them down, not letting Rachel say another word.

After pushing play, he fell onto the cushions next to Blaine, taking care not to sit too close. They had shared a couple of steamy moments, but due to Blaine's strict "No Dating" rule, he wasn't sure how casual cuddling would be taken. He soon realized that he was right to keep his distance. In the dimly lighted, possibly romantic atmosphere, Blaine's entire body tensed away from Kurt. He tried not to take offense to it, but he just yearned for that closeness he was missing so dearly.

Kurt wasn't paying much attention to Dirty Dancing, despite it being one of his favorites. His mind kept replaying what Blaine had said to him last night. _Sometimes I feel that you know me better than I know myself._

Funny, because ever since he landed here, he had been struggling with feeling like he had no idea who this Blaine even was. But maybe what Blaine had said had some truth to it. Maybe he knew the person that Blaine longed to be. It was dangerous, to think that he knew what someone wanted better than that person did, but could this be the way to Blaine's heart? Isn't that kind of what he had already been doing? He reached, for the thousandth time, to fidget with his ring that was no longer there.

He was suddenly distracted from his thoughts by one of his favorite scenes in the movie: the one where Baby walks in on the staff dirty dancing.

A weight compressed his heart as he thought back bittersweetly to a great memory.

_Kurt and Blaine were folding laundry in their bedroom, but Kurt looked up to realize that Blaine had stopped, and was staring at him with a dopey grin on his face._

_"What? I told you I'm not going to make fun of you for how you fold socks again…"_

_"I'll never stop being thankful for you giving me a second chance to be this. To be us."_

_"If I hadn't, it would have been the gravest mistake of my life. We belong together." Kurt almost rolled his eyes at himself. A few years ago, he never would have guessed that he would be spouting off ridiculously sappy words like that and actually mean it._

_The moment the first notes of "Love Man" started playing from Blaine's phone, a spark lit something in both Kurt's and Blaine's eyes. Neither of them had heard the song since the first time Blaine taught Kurt to dance, but their bodies both clearly remembered the dance lesson years ago._

_Kurt dropped the pair of pajama bottoms he had been folding, and ripped the t-shirt out of Blaine's hands, only to throw it aside on the bed._

_By now, dancing together was something the two men had done often enough for it to come easily to them. Most things they did together came easily to them. One of the benefits to finding your soulmate, they supposed._

_Their hips met as if a magnetic force drew them to each other. Kurt's hand grasped at Blaine's waist, and he shoved his knee between Blaine's legs. Their hips swirled and gyrated against each others', arousals becoming immediately evident._

_Blaine's arms hooked around Kurt's neck, pulling him even closer, if possible. He licked his lips hungrily._

_The two boys rocked and swayed and grinded, working up a sweat in their greed for each other._

_Kurt danced Blaine against the wall, heart pounding with love and wanting for the insanely beautiful man in front of him. It always pleased Kurt to see how their bodies fitted together perfectly, as if they were made for each other. Blaine's body was an extension of his own in moments like these. His lips were Kurt's lips. His fingertips were Kurt's fingertips. His nerves were Kurt's nerves._

_"You've come a long way since our first lesson, my protégé." Blaine whispered, rubbing his erection against Kurt's leg to create a beautiful friction._

_"I'll show you how far I've come. And you're going to come too." Kurt winked, shimmying down his fiancé's body to kneel on the ground._

_Luckily for him, Blaine had been wearing lounge shorts, which he rid him of in one downward tug. Blaine stepped out of his pants, and allowed Kurt to reposition himself between his legs._

_Just when he thought Kurt's lips were about to make contact with his painfully throbbing member, Kurt grabbed his thigh from behind and lifted his leg onto his shoulder. He then slid Blaine into the soft, hot depths of his mouth._

_"Oh fucking hell," Blaine moaned. This gave him the perfect angle to thrust into Kurt's mouth. How was it that Kurt always seemed to know exactly what to do to make him lose it?_

_Blaine wrapped his fingers up in Kurt's hair, loosening it from its perfect 'do. Kurt looked up and their eyes met in a rush of intensity and white-hot fire and carnal need._

_There was something totally sexy, too, about most of their clothes remaining on. Would things with Kurt ever stop being sexy? He wondered. He highly doubted it._

_Kurt's motions did not start slow and build. They were quick and needy from the start. Blaine could hardly hold it together._

_"Goddamn it, Kurt. I'm not going to last…" He cried out as Kurt took him deeper into his mouth. "I'm going to come…"_

_Kurt sucked harder and Blaine met his movements with small thrusts of his hips. Kurt's fingernails dug into his ass cheeks, and Blaine could tell he was losing control too._

_Blaine came in spurts, and Kurt swallowed him down like he had never tasted anything so sweet. Blaine was making noises he wasn't even sure he could replicate if he tried. He knew Rachel would get on them later about how loud they were, but he couldn't bring himself to care. His orgasm coursed through him so hard he thought he might collapse. It seemed to roll through his body and straight into Kurt's, he thought, until he realized that Kurt was coming undone too. That is what drove him off the edge: watching the man he loved come apart just like this._

_When his orgasm finally subsided and he finally did collapse, he had the sense to drag Kurt toward the bed first. He lay on top of Kurt, both of them panting. Suddenly, Kurt lifted his head and looked at him with mock-anger in his eyes. Blaine tensed._

_"What is it? What's wrong?"_

_"You were so hot that you made me come in my pants."_

_They laughed, bodies rubbing together, and causing the flame to light in their eyes once more._

When he became aware of reality again, Kurt found that he had curled up in a ball and leaned up against Blaine's shoulder. A dab of the back of his hand told him his eyes were wet with tears.

He nearly pulled back and apologized, but heard Blaine's ragged breathing and watched as Blaine slowly extricated his arm from between them and placed it carefully around Kurt's shoulders.

How could kissing and sexual intimacy come so easily to someone who seemed almost afraid of casual, loving contact? What kind of demons was Blaine fighting that were holding him back? His fingers subconsciously slid out and tightened around Blaine's toned waist.

Toward the end of the movie, Rachel stood and excused herself to bed, saying she had an early morning the next day, which Kurt knew wasn't true.

Blaine whispered in Kurt's ear. "Want to take this to the bedroom?" Kurt couldn't help the surprise on his face.

"No! I mean...what?"

"Isn't that why you asked me to come in tonight?" Blaine looked genuinely confused.

"Absolutely not. What can I do to get it through your head that I want to spend time with you getting to know you. You. Your heart.. Your mind. This isn't like every other guy. I don't want you just for your body."

Blaine still looked as if he could not quite comprehend what the other man was saying before recovering.

"But you still do want my body a little bit, right?" He raised his eyebrows with a smirk on his face.

"You know I do. You've seen physical evidence of it in our make-out sessions…"

"Then why do you tell me no?"

Kurt agonized over his answer. "I...Um...It's just that...I'm a virgin?" As it came out of his mouth, he was suddenly sure that it was true for this version of himself.

"Why do you say that like it's a question?" Blaine laughed.

Kurt blushed. "Er...long story. Very, very long story."

Blaine shrugged. "You don't have to be afraid of your sexuality."

Kurt couldn't hold back a chuckle at the irony of the situation. "You don't have to be afraid of your feelings."

What Kurt didn't expect from Blaine, once again, was an honest response. "I'm trying."

The boys sipped on hot chocolate and talked into the early hours of the morning, much to Kurt's pleasure.

"I should probably go home," Blaine finally admitted at 2:30am.

"You're welcome to crash here," offered Kurt.

Blaine shook his head. "No, I need to get home. If I stay out all night and don't sleep with you, Sebastian will never let me live it down."

"He's quite a character, isn't he?"

"He has my best interests at heart," Blaine defended.

"Hey, Kurt?" Blaine looked up through his eyelashes, looking bashful - an emotion Kurt usually didn't get to see out of him.

"What, Blaine?"

"Thank you for tonight. For everything. I've spent years and years alone and convincing myself that nobody could ever want more than a purely physical relationship with me, and now...You are giving me this chance. It's inexplicable and amazing."

"It's not. Inexplicable, I mean. You're beautiful in every sense of the word."

Blaine didn't seem to know how to respond to the compliment. Kurt didn't mind. He would have given him a thousand compliments without any response if it helped Blaine see who he truly was.

Kurt walked him to the door and planted a kiss on his lips without seeking permission. "I'll call you soon. Good night, my amazing boy."


	7. Chapter 7

 

Kurt's phone screen illuminated, lighting his room that had previously been engulfed in midnight darkness.

He rolled over to turn it screen-down, but the alert on the lock screen jolted him awake.

**Text Message from Blaine Anderson**

His heart accelerated as it always did whenever he saw Blaine's name or face. He wouldn't be able to ignore this until morning - there was no way he was going back to sleep now. He hoisted himself up to prop his head against the headboard and pulled his phone closer to him. Sliding the message open, he exhaled in a hiss of laughter.

**Blaine: Hey Kkurtt what are yu donig?**

He rolled his eyes. Only Blaine could wake Kurt from his beauty sleep and live to tell the tale.

**_Kurt: I was sleeping. Are you drunk again? Sebastian is a terrible influence on you...tell him I said that._ **

**Blaine: Not drunk.**

**Blaine: Just kdding, Im drink..**

**Blaine: Not with sebs he a dickheed.? With tina and Samm they fuckin awesome**

A warmth and comfort spread through Kurt's body upon reading this. He was so glad that he could unite the three best friends in this life.

_**Kurt: Well you have a fun night. Be safe please.** _

**Blaine: I want sing with yiu come oveer tomorrroe itll be frets**

**Blaine: Feeds**

**Blaine: Guest**

**Blaine: Great.**

**Blaine: Shit.**

**_Kurt: I'll be there. I get out of class at 1:15._ **

**Blaine: youre beautiful.**

**_Kurt: You're drunk. Good night, Blaine._ **

Goosebumps covered Kurt's arms and neck. He knew that his Blaine found him beautiful. There was a kind of instinctual attraction between the two of them that was so powerful, he doubted there could even be a universe in which it didn't exist. But whenever Blaine said the words to him, it made him feel a flurry of love and happiness.

He fell back asleep very, very content.

\---

It was a beautiful summer day. Kurt cursed his parallel universe self for enrolling in summer classes. It sounded just like him, though, to be that ambitious. Luckily for him, he didn't have to suffer alone. Artie, it seemed, had signed up for the same generic math and English courses that were required for all majors. Even Tina was with them today, having errands to run on campus.

Kurt pushed Artie along the path, Tina walking beside them. She wore sunglasses and a "fuck off" expression. He wasn't able to stop himself from giggling at her hangover.

"Don't you dare laugh at me!" Tina warned. "I spent all of last night listening to Blaine gush over you!"

"Jealousy doesn't look good on you," Kurt smirked.

"Jealous? Please. He's gay."

Kurt snorted unattractively. "Remember that."

Tina gave him the strangest look. "Whatever. I'm not sure that Blaine would even bat an eye at anyone other than you anyway." A surge of pleasure coursed through him upon hearing this. It was a strange sensation for him to be transported back to the beginning of a relationship with Blaine. It was like he had traveled back in time. It felt similar to the first time he and Blaine met in that Kurt had a huge crush on Blaine and he didn't know how Blaine felt about him. But it was different in so many ways, for obvious reasons. Now that he knew what was at stake, everything was that much more intense.

"Why are you holding back? Do tell, woman!" exclaimed Artie.

"Yes, please enlighten us, Tina," Kurt did his best to sound blasé, but his stomach was in knots with nerves.

"Well, at first he deflected all questions about you. But after he had a few drinks, the man was talking about you like the sun shines out your ass! I think he really likes you, Kurt! Do you like him too?"

"Too much, probably," he sighed.

Artie clapped his hands. "Ooh girl, this is for real!"

If only they knew.

\---

Kurt ran the last few stairs up to Blaine's apartment excitedly. He'd never been here before. The building was beautiful and old. Based on appearances only, he imagined Blaine and Sebastian's neighbors might be a bunch of cute elderly couples.

_3A...3A..._ He located the correct door.

He knocked.

Sebastian answered.

"Oh. You're here," Kurt was disappointed.

"Don't worry, virgin boy, I'm on my way out."

Kurt looked past the tall man in the doorway and found Blaine's face a few feet back. He shot him a helpless "how dare you tell him?" look.

"Sorry," Blaine smiled that cocky smile that Kurt hated so much. "His powers of persuasion are supernatural."

"Now move so I can get out of here and let you two have an afternoon of not having sex and just talking and staring longingly into each other's stupid eyes." Despite his biting words, Kurt noticed him smile supportively at Blaine. Sebastian leaned close to Blaine and whispered something in his ear that made him laugh weakly. Sebastian patted his back once before taking off.

Kurt looked around in wonder. The apartment was shockingly masculine for being the shared space of two gay men. It surprised him that this could be where Blaine lived. First of all, it was extremely messy. Back in his real life, Kurt cleaned up after him, but he wasn't that disorganized. This was clearly the result of two messy people coming together as roommates. The wall decor surprised Kurt too. The beer company artwork was one thing, but Kurt almost choked on his own saliva when he spotted a large, prominent poster of a mostly nude woman with enormous breasts.

Blaine must have noticed his reaction. He smiled like he was in on a secret. "Seb and I agreed to hang that there because we were tired of walking in on each other hooking up in the living room. This way, if one of us is getting it on out here, we see the poster and get turned off and we're forced to take it to the bedroom."

"Clever," Kurt commented.

Blaine ambled over to the couch and flopped down, urging Kurt to follow him. "I want to apologize for the drunken phone calls and texts. I swear I don't drink very often. You've just had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of some embarrassing communications in the past week or so…"

Kurt laughed, stretching out on the opposite side of the couch. "Don't worry about it, Blaine. I find your drunken forwardness and lack of inhibition refreshing."

A shrill ringtone cut through the air. Blaine grabbed his phone. "Shit. My brother wants to FaceTime. We've been trying to connect for weeks. Do you mind?"

Kurt shrugged. "Not at all."

Something in Blaine's expression changed. "Do you want to help me mess with him?"

Kurt's face lit up. "Absolutely."

Blaine picked up and waited while the video connected. "Hey, Coop! How are ya?"

"Hey little bro!" Cooper Anderson's voice filled the room. "I've been trying to reach you for ages! What's going on?"

Blaine looked over his phone to meet Kurt's eyes. Kurt mouthed "Don't freak out," then crawled across the couch and proceeded to sprawl himself across Blaine's lap, throwing his arms around his neck. Instead of the stiffening that Kurt was expecting to feel beneath him, Blaine remained relaxed and wrapped his free arm around Kurt's waist.

"Well, well, well. Who might this be?" Cooper's voice was full of excitement. Kurt highly doubted that Blaine had ever introduced any guy to his brother.

Kurt nuzzled into Blaine's neck, peeking at the screen where Cooper was watching, looking way too happy.

Despite the understanding that they were acting, Blaine's voice came out a little uneven. "This is Kurt. He's...he's my…"

As if trying to describe what Kurt was to him wasn't uncomfortable enough, Kurt was licking his neck just below his jawline.

"Jesus, boys. Lock it down," Cooper joked, but his eyes seemed a little disappointed. "I get it. Another hookup, Blaine? I was hoping you'd be getting to the age where you might want to settle down…"

Blaine was having a hard time putting together a coherent sentence with Kurt so intoxicatingly close to him. "No, he's not a hookup. He's…"

"It's okay," Kurt purred. "You can tell him."

"Tell me what?"

"I'm a paid companion." He felt Blaine's fingers tighten on his waist and for a moment, he thought that Blaine might burst into laughter, blowing their cover. Cooper's eyes widened, but he didn't say anything.

To Kurt's relief, Blaine played along. "Well, I am about to be a famous actor. I need to look good in the public eye. Plus, it's nice to keep him around for a good fuck."

This time Cooper couldn't hold it in. "Blaine! How could you? You're better than that! First of all, you need to be treating this man with respect, no matter what his career choice is. Second, you don't think people will find out about this? The media is ruthless. You're about to be on the radar of millions of people. If they discover that you're paying someone to pretend to be your partner and sleep with you-" He cut himself off when he realized his brother and supposed escort were laughing hysterically. "What's so funny?"

Kurt slid off of Blaine's lap, but kept one arm around his neck. "I'm not really being paid by Blaine, Cooper."

"Yeah, Coop, Kurt is a guy I've been hanging out with for a few weeks now." Kurt twirled a finger around a curl at the back of Blaine's neck, momentarily forgetting about the careful distance he was trying to keep.

The red faded from Cooper's face. He breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh hell. I thought I was going to have to fly across the country and some smack you down! It's very nice to meet you, Kurt. Blaine doesn't ever introduce me to any guy he's seeing. That must mean you're pretty special."

"All right. That's enough for today," Blaine said loudly, squirming uncomfortably. "I'll call you later this week."

"Okay, little bro. Have you talked to mom and dad?" Cooper asked, suddenly serious.

"No." Blaine almost sounded angry.

"It's been a year, Blaine. Maybe it's time."

"I'm not having this conversation again. Good bye, Cooper."

He pushed the "End" button, then looked tentatively at Kurt.

Kurt smiled down at him, a lock of hair still caught between his fingers. He knew it must have been a stretch for Blaine to allow him into something so personal like his family life. He was concerned about what Cooper had said at the end of the conversation, though.

"Your brother seems really nice. Tell me more about your family. What did Cooper mean 'It's been a year?'"

He could have sworn he felt a cool breeze flow between them as Blaine threw up his defenses, clearly not intending to answer.

"Why do you do that?!" Asked Kurt in exasperation.

"Do what?" Blaine had a grumpy frown on his face. His head was leaning back against the back of the couch.

"Everything will be going along just fine and then I ask a question or something happens and out of nowhere you pull back into yourself like you're so afraid of what will happen if you let me in!" Kurt was practically shouting. Blaine bit his lower lip and twirled his ring around his finger.

"It's because I am." He closed his eyes, wishing he were anywhere else.

"You are what?"

"I am afraid." Blaine sat up straight and looked Kurt straight in the face. When he spoke, he couldn't control the panic in his voice. "I am fucking _terrified_ of you, Kurt, and what I feel about you! You came into my life, completely unexpectedly, and you say things and you know things about me that you couldn't possibly know, and it's like someone reached out and hand-selected you and put you right in front of me, designed exactly for me, and I have no idea what to do with that. So yeah, Kurt, it fucking scares me."

The silence was deafening as the two men stared each other down.

Blaine broke first. He sank back into the cushions and covered his face. "Oh my god I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

Kurt scrambled to grab his hands and bring them away from his face, but Blaine shut his eyes instead.

"No. Never apologize for saying how you feel. Not with me." He positioned himself so he was facing Blaine directly. "I'm scared too, you know."

Blaine peeked one eye open. "You are?"

"Yes. God, Blaine, of course I am! All new relationships are terrifying. Especially when you've never felt the way you do for that particular person. But you have to take risks to reap the rewards." He thought for a minute, tracing patterns on the back of Blaine's hand. "Do you remember the day after we met at the piano bar and you tracked me down and came to find me? That was a huge risk. Do you remember what you asked me that day?"

Blaine nodded slowly, tightening his grasp on Kurt's hands."I asked you if it was worth it."

"And I said yes. And I swear to you, Blaine, if you open up and let me in, I will make every single day worth it."

In response, Blaine pulled Kurt's hands toward him, causing Kurt's chest to land flush against his own. Kurt's fingers wound their way into his hair once again. "Okay." He detected little reservation in Blaine's eyes, so he gave himself over to the other man, too.

Their lips made their way together, tasting, exploring with a fervor. Kurt let out a contented hum. Blaine's hands were strong against his back, their warmth spreading past the thin fabric of Kurt's shirt and bleeding into his soul. Blaine's tongue was gentle, tentative as it traversed the planes of Kurt's mouth, then as it wandered down his neck, a trail of nips and kisses, chanting "okay" over and over.

Kurt's hands fumbled for the hem of Blaine's t-shirt, pulling his body away ever so slightly so he was able to slip the shirt off. He nearly breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing Blaine's exposed torso. His hands flew to touch Blaine everywhere. Blaine responded magnificently under his touch. Where his fingertips drew lines, Blaine's skin grew goosebumps. Where Kurt's lips planted kisses, Blaine arched into him. Where Kurt breathed the words "worth it" against his skin, Blaine shivered uncontrollably.

Blaine broke the kiss first, but left his hands splayed out on Kurt's back. Kurt whined at the abrupt stop to the assault on his neck.

Blaine mumbled something like "we should stop…don't want to get carried away…"

"What if I want to get carried away?" Kurt breathed, running a hand through his disheveled hair.

"I thought you didn't want to because you're...I thought you weren't ready." Blaine's eyes searched his questioningly, desperate to find Kurt's permission to continue, despite his resolve to respect Kurt and not push the issue.

Kurt's head spun. What would be the repercussions of going through with this? What would other Kurt think if he were transported back into his life? Would he know that these things had happened? Would it be like he had done them? He decided he didn't really care at the moment.

"I want to."

Blaine's smile was brilliant.

"You know, I've never done it before like this either. Not when it actually counted for something."

In response, Kurt straddled Blaine's hips, kneeling on the couch. He tore off his own shirt and resumed their kiss. "I want you," he whispered. Blaine shuddered, then froze.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asked in alarm.

"The girl with the boobs. She's staring at me. Let's continue this elsewhere."

Kurt giggled as Blaine scooped him up and carried him to his bedroom, pecking him with kisses the whole way.

They crashed down onto the bed, bodies pressed together. Blaine somehow managed to wriggle out of his sweatpants and boxer briefs without breaking contact with Kurt.

Kurt's hands flitted downward immediately. He ran his hands over the tight muscles of Blaine's ass and moaned. Blaine backed away, reaching for Kurt's pants now. He pulled them down carefully, exposing the rest of Kurt. His fingers massaged their way from foot to hip, mouth not far behind, sucking and licking at the sensitive skin at Kurt's instep, back of his knee, and inner thigh.

Kurt gasped sharply as Blaine's hands encircled his hard length, and continued to work his way back up to Kurt's mouth. Their lips met again, though the slow burning was gone, replaced by a fierce need. Blaine worked Kurt in his hand while he rubbed himself against Kurt's thigh, both boys panting.

Thinking that Blaine could do with being cared for, Kurt slowly traced one finger down his back, down, down, down, toward - Kurt cried out in surprise as Blaine swatted his hand away.

"I'm sorry, but I do _not_ bottom."

Kurt would have laughed had Blaine not looked so somber. He could think of at least 10 times Blaine had bottomed since Christmas alone. He must have looked strange, because Blaine immediately apologized.

"Oh Kurt, I'm so sorry!" His eyes were wild, and it seemed as though he were waiting for Kurt to realize that this wasn't what he wanted, and to leave him.

"No, what did I say earlier? Never be afraid to tell me what you feel. Especially not in bed." He pressed his lips to Blaine's neck, and Blaine sighed with relief.

"I don't deserve you, Kurt." His voice was ragged. He reached off to the side of the bed and when his hand returned, it was slick with lube. His finger found its way down Kurt's back to hover over his entrance.

"Ready?" Blaine asked. Kurt nodded. He winced as the finger pushed into him. Normally, he and Blaine had an extremely active sex life. Too active, if their roommates had anything to say about it. But in his current situation, there had been an understandable lack of sex for the past few weeks, and he needed a little extra time to stretch to fit Blaine's fingers.

Blaine was slow and gentle. He watched Kurt for signs that he was doing something wrong, but it was all so right. After inserting a second finger, he angled it to brush against Kurt's prostate. The sensation sent Kurt's hips flying up off the bed. Blaine stilled.

"Oh my god, Blaine. Don't stop!" Kurt cried.

With each touch to that most sensitive spot, Kurt became more and more urgent. His lips against Blaine's collarbone told the story of his need.

"I'm ready," he exhaled. "I want you."

The crinkle of foil between Blaine's fingers made Kurt grimace. He and his Blaine hadn't used a condom in ages, since they were both clean, and extremely exclusive. But he grudgingly understood the necessity for the undesirable accessory now.

Kurt was filled with an almost unbearable anticipation as Blaine rolled on the condom and lubed himself up.

"Turn over," Blaine commanded softly.

Kurt started. "No. Blaine, I want to see you."

Blaine dropped his head to the crook of Kurt's neck. His body convulsed with what Kurt could only describe as a dry sob.

"I can't do that. I don't do that," he explained, wrecked. Kurt's hands rubbed small circles on his back. He drew Blaine's chin up so he would meet his eyes. He was shocked by the pain he saw there.

"Please. It'll be worth it."

Those words were all it took. In one motion, Blaine pushed himself up and positioned himself at Kurt's entrance. He pressed in slightly, then waited for Kurt to adjust. When Kurt gave him the go-ahead, he drove in the rest of the way, gasping at the feeling. Soon, they were moving together easily.

Kurt held Blaine's eyes as they melted into each other, a mess of pleasure and passion. It was so extremely intimate, and all of his senses were heightened. He wondered if his blood might actually be on fire.

"That's so...good…"

"You have no idea…Tell me...Tell me…" Blaine's eyes bore into his, pleading.

The corner of Kurt's mouth turned up in a smirk. There was his Blaine, wanting to hear dirty talk to get off.

" _Fuck_ , Blaine. Your cock feels so good inside of me."

Blaine stilled, and Kurt realized he was trying to hide silent laughter. He hadn't thought it was funny at all.

"That was surprisingly naughty," Blaine told him. "And very, very sexy. But not what I meant. I meant tell me...tell me how you…" He broke off as if to say "never mind."

Suddenly, Kurt understood what Blaine wanted. It hurt his heart to know that he needed it, but he would absolutely give it to him.

"You're sexy. You're beautiful. You turn me on so much," he began. He felt the familiar tightening that signaled his impending orgasm.

Blaine's eyes flared, shining. Kurt continued. "But you're so much more." Blaine rested his head on Kurt's shoulder again as he rocked his hips up into the other man. Kurt thought he felt teeth biting down on his shoulder, muffling needy little whimpers. "You're talented. _Ohh shit, Blaine._ Keep doing that! You-you're intelligent. And you deserve for someone to take care of you. Mmmmm god...You deserve someone good. You deserve someone like me. _FUCK_!" Kurt shrieked. Blaine had moved to wrap his arms around Kurt, and the added pressure of his body pressing down into Kurt drove him crazy.

He felt something hot and wet on his skin, and realized Blaine was crying. He wound his hands in Blaine's hair and tugged upward to draw Blaine's glistening eyes back to his.

"Mmmm. God that's good. Tell me again," Blaine whispered, barely audible.

This was all so intense. Kurt couldn't hold on a moment longer. His body shook with his climax, as he called out to Blaine.

He shuddered as his body weakened and his voice shifted to help bring Blaine to his orgasm. "You deserve it. You deserve me." Blaine thrust once, twice, three times more, and tumbled over the edge too, moaning Kurt's name repeatedly.

Coming down, Blaine was completely emotionally stripped. He had never allowed himself to be so vulnerable before anyone. It was both terrifying and liberating. He wanted both to never let go, and also to run and hide forever.

Blaine burrowed into Kurt's neck again, choosing the first option.


	8. Chapter 8

"Oh my god, I can't believe I cried during sex! Our first time. Your first time! I'm so sorry!" Blaine had been freaking out about it for the past hour, and Kurt had been reassuring him repeatedly. They were still in bed, clothed only by the bunched up ivory sheets.

"Blaine. I've told you a hundred times already. Stop it. If you apologize one more time I will get up and leave."

"Okay, okay."

Kurt loved the way Blaine looked right now. Completely open and vulnerable, the last of his walls stripped down. He stroked his arm lazily.

"We didn't get a chance to sing together," Kurt whispered.

"We will," Blaine assured him. "We have all the time in the world."

Kurt felt like he had been stabbed through the heart. Thoughts he had been pushing down rose up to the surface.

"Blaine, I think I have to go."

Blaine nuzzled further into Kurt's side. "Stay. Stay the night."

Kurt smiled half-heartedly into his hair. "I wish I could. But you said you have a 4:30am call time for your first day of filming tomorrow."

Blaine bit his lip. "Damn. You're right."

"I usually am."

"Can we at least meet for dinner tomorrow after I'm done with work?" Blaine offered.

"You mean like on a date? Color me surprised, Blaine Warbler."

Blaine whipped his head up to look at Kurt with wide eyes. "What did you just call me?"

Kurt nearly hit himself in the forehead, feeling unbelievably stupid. "Umm...it was nothing! A warbler's my favorite kind of bird?"

After a moment, Blaine settled back in, smiling happily. "Yes, I mean like on a date."

"I don't want to push you too far too fast." Kurt shook his head.

Blaine squeezed him. "That part of me has always been in there. It's just been buried deep down. Plus, you've seen me at my most stripped down and we both survived...I don't have much else to lose."

"I'm so glad I could help you find that part of yourself again, Blaine." They kissed briefly before Kurt got up to get dressed, Blaine watching him through heavy-lidded eyes.

"Kurt, on Saturday, the director of my movie is having a dinner party with the cast. Do you want to go with me?"

"I wish I could. I'm actually going home this weekend. To Ohio. My dad has been badgering me for a while now. I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay." He scrunched up his nose. "I guess I'll just take Sebastian."

"I'll see you tomorrow," Kurt leaned over the bed to kiss him. "Let me know if you change your mind when the sex high wears off."

\---

Kurt didn't go home. He walked the streets of New York aimlessly, fighting with the thoughts flooding his head.

_We have all the time in the world,_ Blaine had said. But did they? Kurt's life could switch back at any moment, as suddenly as the first time. What if the other Kurt didn't like Blaine? He wasn't quite sure how this worked, but he was positive it was his mind controlling the actions of this Kurt. What if the other Kurt didn't remember anything about his time with Blaine?

And part of him couldn't shake the feeling that he had made some grave mistake by sleeping with Blaine. He started to hyperventilate and had to stop, doubled over and clutching at a lamppost. Had he cheated on his fiance? Was that crazy? It was the same person, but...He supposed his Blaine wouldn't blame him. He had no way of knowing if he would ever return to his life. Wouldn't his Blaine want him to find his alternate universe self so that they could be together no matter what? He fought to even out his breathing, forcing himself to resume a standing position.

The worst part was that even though he wanted nothing more than to get back to his normal life and to his normal relationship, he _liked_ this version of Blaine. He wanted to keep him with him somehow. He was happy in some weird way.

Through all of the emotions, one thing was certain: he felt - and he couldn't explain why - that his time in this universe was coming to an end. And as happy as that made him, he had no idea what to do about it.

\---

When Kurt met Blaine in front of the restaurant the next evening, he looked more nervous than Kurt had ever seen. But Kurt's embrace washed away all the feelings of unease.

He let Blaine gush about his first day on the job, and pretended to ignore the cameras trying to capture a moment of their date.

It would have all been so wonderful, had he not had that nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach telling him that he had to figure something out. Soon.

And it was with an unsettled mind and unresolved issues that he kissed Blaine goodbye and hopped on a plane to take him back to Ohio.

Kurt was looking forward to this trip home. His father always managed to help him when his mind was disquieted. There was also something he had been wanting to do for a while. He wanted to go see Santana. He had to make sure she was doing well. He had no idea what he would do if she wasn't, but he just felt a compulsion to check in on her.

Never in a million years would Kurt have guessed that he would sorely miss Santana, but his heart ached for her. She had, inexplicably, become one of his closest friends, and now that he knew her life was so different than the one he knew her to love, he had to make sure she was okay.

When the plane landed, he switched his phone on and hoped to feel the telltale vibration of a text alert, but no luck. He felt disappointed, and then ashamed that he felt disappointed. Had he expected Blaine to text him some cheesy message like "miss you already?" No. But had he hoped? Sure he had.

Burt was there waiting to pick him up. He had left Carole behind to make dinner, which Kurt was looking forward to. Friday night dinners were still a tradition in both his old life and his new one, but nothing beat a Friday night dinner in the Hummel household.

"There's a surprise waiting for you inside," Burt told his son with a smile. "You've seemed pretty down lately, and I thought you could use a it…"

Normally, Kurt was not a fan of surprises. He was a master at foiling other people's surprise plans, and much preferred it that way. But this surprise was so worth it.

"Mr. Schuester!" Kurt ran into the open arms of his former teacher. He was suddenly overcome with emotion and had to force back the lump in his throat.

It was so good to see Mr. Schue again. This is what Friday night dinners were all about. Bringing family together. After dinner, Kurt and Mr. Schue excused themselves to the back patio.

Mr. Schue put a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "How are you, Kurt? You look...different."

"I feel different. I'm feeling a little lost lately. Very conflicted."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I...I don't know if I can. It's like my world was turned upside down and I thought I was on the right track doing the right thing, but it all just feels so confusing."

"You know what you should do, then, to give you clarity?"

They made eye contact and said in unison, "Sing about it."

And just like old times, they broke into a duet.

\---

Singing with Mr. Schue actually did make Kurt feel better. He should have known it would. And a good Burt Hummel pep talk made it even better. Burt convinced him that if it was in his heart, it couldn't be wrong. And being with Blaine is what was in his heart. He still had no idea what to do about the fact that his life could switch back at any time, though. There was only one person who could help him out with that, and he wasn't sure he wanted to put that responsibility in that person's hands, lest it get entirely screwed up.

More than ever, he wanted to be home, in his own life, wrapped up in Blaine's arms on the couch and watching _Flea Market Flip_ like they did every Saturday.

Instead, a trickier prospect was at hand. He was pulled up in front of the house just outside of Lima Heights where he would supposedly find Santana and David Karofsky. His heart was pounding, but he knew if he didn't try, he would never forgive himself.

He put one foot in front of the other until he was standing on the doorstep, knocking softly. He quickly wondered if he should be worried about Karofsky offering to rearrange his face, but he didn't have time to dwell on it. Santana opened the door with a surprised expression.

"Lady Hummel. What an unpleasant surprise. Let me guess. The morgue ran out of dead people's clothes for you to borrow, so you need fashion advice."

"It's really good to see you, too, Santana. Thanks for inviting me in. I'd love a drink."

Without saying another word, she turned around and led him through the house to the kitchen. She poured him some lemonade and turned back, expectantly, patting her tiny baby bump.

"Come to give me your congratulations on my soon-to-be bundle of joy? I have to admit, you were the last person I was expecting, Tee-oh. Shit. Can't call you Teen Gay anymore, can I?"

He took a sip of the lemonade and coughed, spewing it back into the glass.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you there's vodka in there too…since I can't drink in my current situation, I've been spiking everything that everyone else drinks. Maybe not the best habit to get into. We'll see."

"Where's Dave?" Kurt asked, glancing around the room a little nervously.

"Away on one of his weekend trips." She looked down upon saying this.

"Oh, so he goes away for the weekend to get his gay on, and you're stuck here, growing his child and pretending to be someone you're not?" Kurt found it hard not to raise his voice.

"That escalated quickly. At least if I'm miserable, I'm not miserable alone, like your sad ass!"

"I'd rather be alone than hide who I am because I'm too scared of what other people will think!"

They stared each other down for a moment. Finally, Santana spoke.

"I always knew we were kindred bitches."

Kurt laughed, feeling the anger and tension dissolve.

"So why _are_  you here, anyway?"

"Just wanted to see how you are doing."

"You've never cared about my well-being before. Why now?"

"Let's just say I have a new perspective now…are you sure this is what you want?"

Santana rested her hands on her belly again. "It doesn't matter. It's too late now."

Kurt shook his head. "It's never too late."

"I'm at peace with my decision to live this way."

"God, Santana. There's a place out there where we're both happy, and we both have everything we could ever want. I might even be your best gay."

"Nope. That's where I draw the line. It's time for you to go back to your sad life, Lady Face."

She walked him to the door, but was smiling the whole way.

"If you ever change your mind, I'm only a phone call away." He pressed a slip of paper with his number into her hand. Her fingers grasped his for a second before pulling back.

"Thank you," she uttered, barely above a whisper.

"Bye for now, Satan."

"Laters, Butt Sex."

\---

Sunday morning dawned, and Kurt was starting to feel like an addict. He checked his phone for notifications every few seconds to make sure he hadn't missed a text or call from Blaine. He even imagined phantom vibrations or text tones, causing him to frantically dig for his phone, but each time, there was nothing.

Kurt pushed his grocery cart up to the checkout at the local market. Right in front of him, on a paper on the newsstand, was a large, black and white photograph of Blaine and some guy Kurt had never seen before with their arms around each other. The caption read "Newcomer Blaine Anderson and his date at the cast kickoff party."

Was this why Blaine hadn't contacted him all weekend? He goes out of town for less than three days, and Blaine was already back to his old ways! How had he been to stupid to think he could change him? Kurt took a steadying breath and checked out.

Strange. It was a word he had used more in the past few weeks than he had in his entire life. But it was the single best word to describe what he was going through.

It was so strange not knowing what to think about the picture in the paper. Back in his real life, he trusted Blaine with his entire being. After their breakup, Blaine had proved to be nothing but true to him, and at this point in their relationship, he would never for a second believe that Blaine would do anything, intentionally or otherwise, to hurt him.

But this wasn't the Blaine he knew like the back of his hand. And he didn't know if he could trust him. He agonized over it as he made breakfast for his dad and Carole.

"Hey buddy. What's on your mind?" Burt asked, coming into the kitchen.

Kurt sighed. "Dad. I know I've been pretty vague about what's going on lately. There-there's a guy I've been sort of seeing for the past couple of weeks."

If his dad was surprised, he did a great job of hiding it.

"I thought it was going great, but I haven't heard from him at all this weekend. Then I heard from someone else that he took another guy to a party. We never said we were dating exclusively or anything, but I didn't think he'd ditch me the moment I left town…"

"Is he a good guy, Kurt?"

"The best." He wished he could tell Burt just how much he would love Blaine, how much he would treat him like his own son.

"Then give him a chance. I don't want you to get hurt, though, so if you feel uncomfortable at all, don't let him jerk you around."

"I won't, dad. Thank you. I love you."

"Love you too, kid."

\---

**_Kurt: Boarding the plane to head back to NYC. See each other soon?_ **

Kurt stared at the text he had sent hours ago to Blaine. He was waiting to be able to get off the plane now, and Blaine still hadn't responded. _Maybe I'm being ghosted,_ he thought, remembering the term he had heard Tina use about her most recent crush.

This must have been what he was supposed to make out of all of this misery. Blaine didn't need him after all. He wanted to tear out his hair in frustration.

He was finally allowed to leave the plane. He walked through the airport, avoiding looking at any of the newsstands, and trying to remember his father's words. _Give him a chance. Give him a chance. Give him a chance._

"Kurt!" The ever-familiar voice called out to him. Well, here was his chance.

"Blaine? What are you doing here?" He couldn't stop his feet as they increased their speed to run over to Blaine.

"I came to pick you up, silly." Blaine reached out and hugged Kurt, lifting him off the ground, like they had been separated for months instead of days.

Kurt backed away slightly, removing himself from the immediate vicinity of Blaine's intoxicating smell and presence to give himself a clear head. "I wasn't sure you missed me. I thought you might be too busy with your date from the party last night." _Give him a chance._

Blaine wrinkled his nose. "You saw that, huh?" _Give him a chance._ The words started falling out of Blaine's mouth like he couldn't stop them from coming out. "I'm sorry Kurt. That reporter had no idea what she was talking about. I brought Sebastian to the party like I said I would. The guy in the picture was trying to hit on me, and he caught the photographer for a picture before I could say no. That's all. I went home with Sebastian at the end of the night." He paused, then scrambled to correct himself. "That sounds awful! I just mean because he's my roommate. Nothing happened between us."

Kurt allowed his apology. "But you didn't text me all weekend."

"I didn't want to seem desperate! I was waiting for you! And when you texted me to say you were flying back, I took that as my green light. I'm sorry if the whole thing got a little messy. I'm new to this dating thing, remember?"

Kurt felt himself smile for the first time since he saw the newspaper that morning. "I'm sorry I freaked out a little bit."

"Can I freak you out a little bit more?" Blaine took Kurt's hand. "I spent the entire weekend thinking about you and wishing you were here. I didn't want to go to that party because you weren't with me. You've broken down my walls, Kurt, and I don't want to go back to the way it was before. I want you by my side all the time. I feel crazy when you're not around. I know it's way too early, and I might be insane, but I think…" _Don't say it. Please say it. Don't say it_. "I think I love you."


	9. Chapter 9

 

 _Fucked_. That was the one word Kurt would have chosen to describe his (second) life.

Though his eyes were closed, he couldn't stop seeing the scene from the airport so clearly.

_"...I think I love you." The hope and elation on Blaine's face were clear. He was opening himself up, offering himself to the man standing before him._

_But Kurt was frozen to the spot. Thoughts were racing around his head so quickly that he could hardly grab onto one coherent thought. Seconds had passed, or maybe minutes or hours, but Kurt couldn't move or speak._

_Confusion clouded Blaine's expression, trying to make sense of why Kurt was just standing there. Panic struck him when he realized that he might have misread their relationship, and that maybe he was scaring Kurt off._

_Kurt could see Blaine searching his eyes for some explanation, but he knew they were blank. How could they show anything when he didn't know how to feel?_

_Finally, Kurt's body unfroze. Before he knew what he was doing, he started backing away from the boy whose heart was breaking right in front of him. He couldn't think. Couldn't do anything._

_Just before he turned and ran, he saw Blaine reach out a hand. Then everything was gone._

_That hand would haunt him. It was Blaine's way of asking him not to leave, to help him understand, to please, please, please..._

His phone vibrated for probably the 20th time since he had been home. Funny how he had been practically begging for a text from Blaine all weekend, and now he had 20 of them when he just wanted to be left alone.

Rachel knocked quietly on his door, and came in to find Kurt lying face up on his bed. He didn't open his eyes when she walked in. He felt the depression of the mattress as she laid down next to him, and started running her fingers through his hair comfortingly.

She didn't ask what he was going through, and for that he was grateful. He just wanted to lay there and have her comfort him.

An hour later, unmoved from his original position, he opened his mouth.

"I don't know what to do, Rachel. I'm so lost."

She snaked one arm around his waist, hugging him close. He took this as encouragement to continue.

"Blaine told me he loved me."

"That's great, Kurt! But isn't it a little soon?"

He turned his head toward her and opened his eyes. "Not for me. I've loved him my entire life."

"Then what's the matter?"

"I fucked everything up. I ran. I just don't even know what's happening to me. This whole Freaky Friday thing is bullshit. How could I have done this to him? How could I have made him love me when I could disappear tomorrow? I made him trust me and now...I shouldn't have done this. I can't hurt him like this."

"I don't think you should worry so much."

His mouth fell open. "How can you say that? This is Blaine's entire life we're talking about!"

"It's not just his life. There's one person I care about more than anyone in the whole world. And it's that person's life, too. It's Kurt's life. So trust me when I say I don't take this lightly."

Kurt gave her a questioning glance.

"It's pretty clear to me that Kurt and Blaine are meant to be together. Every version of them. When things go back to normal, there's no doubt in my mind that Kurt will adore Blaine. He's so likeable. And very, very cute!" This got a small smile out of Kurt.

"And Blaine?" He asked.

"You and my Kurt might be a little different, but there are so many things that you have in common. The important things, like your compassion, your wit, your grace, your ability to love fiercely. And I guarantee you those are the things Blaine fell in love with."

She was convincing, but he couldn't wrap his head around it. "I don't know, Rachel."

Kurt's phone went off again.

"At least answer his texts. Don't make him suffer."

"Maybe we're all meant to suffer. Maybe it's what we deserve."

"Spare me the tragedy, Shakespeare. Text him."

"I don't know what to say."

"Just let him know that you care."

Kurt nodded slightly. He owed him that much.

\---

Blaine typed out yet another text to Kurt that would go unanswered. He felt like he was going to throw up. He had been so foolish to put himself out there like that, but he had been so sure that Kurt was on the same page. If Kurt would just let him explain...He jumped when his phone vibrated.

**_Kurt: I'm so sorry. I just can't. I care about you more than you know. It's better this way._ **

Blaine clutched the phone to his chest, a searing pain shooting through him. Kurt really was giving up.

Not for the first time that night, someone banged on his door. "Blaine! Open the fucking door. This is the last time I'm going to ask!"

"Jesus Christ, Sebastian. Hang on."

He crossed the room and unlocked his door to reveal his disgruntled roommate.

"Oh god, what happened to you?" Blaine figured he was referring to his red-rimmed eyes and look of desperation. "When you left for the airport earlier, you were skipping and whistling show tunes."

"Yeah, Well it didn't exactly go as planned." Sebastian didn't miss the sadness in his voice or the hopeful glance he threw at his phone.

Sebastian lowered himself onto Blaine's bed and gave him an anticipatory look that said he was listening.

"Up until a few days ago, I was terrified of my feelings for Kurt. You know that." Sebastian nodded in understanding. "But Kurt taught me to embrace how I felt, and to be open to it. So I acted on my feelings. I met him at the airport and I told him I loved him."

"Oh shit, Blaine. Bad call." Sebastian immediately looked like he regretted his lack of sympathy, but he wasn't about to apologize for it.

Blaine was used to tough love, though. "You're telling me. You should have seen his face. He looked like he'd seen a ghost. He couldn't even form words. This text is the first I've heard from him since." He showed his phone to Sebastian.

"This was a really, really good thing I had going, Seb. Why do I always ruin everything good in my life?" Blaine threw himself back on the bed in frustration.

"Hey. No. This is not your fault. Kurt's just a dick."

"No, _you're_ a dick. Kurt is everything beautiful and good in this world. You read the text. He cares about me. It's definitely my fault."

A moment passed with Sebastian evaluating the situation.

"You know what? You need to forget about him. We're going to do something fun to help you get over him."

"I don't think that's-"

"We're going dancing! Come on." He pulled Blaine off the bed. "Get dressed. Fix your hair. It'll be fun. I'll find the hottest guy there and I'll even let you have him."

Blaine narrowed his eyes. "We aren't even attracted to the same type of guy."

"You're right. I'm really not into the tall, stringy ones. Still, I'll ignore my raging horniness and turn down the dozens of guys who will no doubt proposition me in order to play the role of your wingman tonight."

"How generous, Seb. But I'm not really feeling like-"

"Hush your mouth and get ready." He pushed Blaine toward the bathroom, throwing a fresh shirt after him.

\---

And that is exactly how Blaine found himself sitting in a corner of a nightclub, sipping on a drink he didn't want, watching Sebastian pull a tall, handsome stranger toward him.

The stranger smiled and offered Blaine a new drink. "You look like you could use a pick-me-up."

Sebastian hadn't lied. He _had_ found the best looking guy in the entire club and brought him to Blaine. The man was a few inches taller than himself, but his muscles didn't appear to be quite as toned as Kurt's. His hair was far too blond for Blaine's liking as well. He would much prefer chestnut hair slipping through his fingers as he kissed the man who it belonged to.

 _Damn it!_ He thought, cursing himself for his inability to get Kurt out of his head.

The man sat next to him. "My name is Liam."

"Blaine," he gave a polite smile.

"You're very sexy," Liam told him, looking him up and down. Blaine groaned. He couldn't do this. Liam interpreted the groan as a sign that Blaine was turned on by his words.

"I want to see that hot body in action. Shall we dance?" Liam asked, extending his hand to Blaine.

Sebastian nudged him, encouraging him to go. He sighed, knowing that it was futile to resist Sebastian when he had a plan. And his plan tonight was to get Blaine drunk enough to hook up with some guy and forget all about Kurt. He could at least pretend he appreciated Sebastian's efforts.

On the dance floor, Blaine bobbed his head to the music while the other man slithered around him. He was too close for comfort, all hands, and making Blaine tense up. In an effort to be polite, Blaine made his dance moves larger, sliding slightly away from Liam with each move.

Liam, encouraged by Blaine's seemingly more enthusiastic dancing, caught Blaine by the hips and pulled him close enough for Blaine to feel the other man's breath on his face.

Blaine tried to back away, getting irritated now, and not caring if the guy noticed.

Liam snaked his hand into Blaine's back pockets before Blaine knew what was happening.

"Whoa," he muttered, reaching for the man's wrists and removing them from his ass.

"Hey," Liam leaned in close. "It's okay. Loosen up."

Blaine saw what was coming before it happened. He caught the man's face in his hand as he leaned in for a kiss.

"Dude," he told him. "No." Blaine was about to blow off this jerk and catch a cab home. He wasn't going to deal with this. Not again.

"Come on," the guy looked disappointed, but not totally disheartened. "Everyone told me you're easy." His hands were winding their way around Blaine's hips again. Suddenly, they were standing a few feet apart, and Liam was struggling to get his balance. Blaine realized that Sebastian, who was now standing beside him, had pushed Liam away.

"No means no. He's not interested, asshole!" Sebastian yelled. The anguish in Blaine's face must have been pretty clear, because he looked to his best friend and said "C'mon, Blaine. We're leaving."

The cab ride home was silent. Blaine, feeling very much unlike himself, wished for the first time in his life that Sebastian was the comforting, touchy type. He longed for a friend to put an arm around him or hold his hand and tell him everything was going to work out between him and Kurt, and to ignore the idiotic comment the guy at the club had made. That he was more than an easy lay. That something good was coming his way.

Instead, he was forced to comfort himself with the fact that Sebastian sitting next to him and watching out for him meant that he cared, and that no matter what anyone else thought, Sebastian believed in him.

But the one person who had always seen the best in him, even when he couldn't see it himself was-He tried to force himself to stop thinking about Kurt, but it was proving to be an impossible task.

When they arrived back at their apartment, Blaine caught Sebastian's eye.

"Thanks for having my back tonight. And thanks for trying to get me to have fun. It just seems a little impossible right now." His voice caught at the word impossible.

Sebastian placed his hands on Blaine's shoulders and folded him into a hug.

Blaine was surprised at first. He could count the number of times he and Sebastian had hugged on one hand.

"I must really look like crap, huh?" He returned the hug and felt Sebastian shake with a small laugh.

"Absolute shit." He pulled back, his voice softening. "You really love him, don't you?"

Blaine nodded. "I know it happened fast. I can't really explain it. It's just like...you know those moments when you feel like something important is happening, and you know that whatever it is, it's something much bigger than you? That's the feeling I get every single time I look at Kurt."

"That's deep, man. Go put that energy to good use. Write a song." Though his words may have had a joking edge to them, Sebastian had caring and a new glint of determination in his eyes.

Blaine nodded, smiling at his best friend. He might not have been a softie, but he understood Blaine, and could always make him feel better.

He retreated to his bedroom, and heeded Sebastian's words, putting pen to paper. But what came out wasn't a song.

\---

Walking around the city, Kurt had drafted dozens of speeches to Blaine in his head, each one sounding more painful and confusing than the last.

There wasn't exactly a good way to say "I can't ever see you again because I'm going to be replaced with someone who might have no clue who you are, but I can't tell you why." But Blaine deserved an explanation, and Kurt was determined to give one to him.

He rounded the corner to head back to his apartment. When he originally made the wish, he had been hoping for clarity, to know that he was the best person he could be. But all he found was confusion. He now had more questions than before. The biggest and scariest of them all being: What will happen next? He was trying to keep it together, but he was scared to death of the possibility that his life would never be the same.

He had been so wrapped up in his thoughts that Kurt hadn't noticed the shadowy figure lurking by the entrance to his building.

"Sebastian," he acknowledged, hiding his surprise. "To what do I owe this displeasure?"

Sebastian pushed off the wall he had been leaning against and stood before Kurt. "You look awful."

Kurt wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He hadn't realized he'd been crying again. "Yet I still look better than you."

"In your dreams. I'm here about Blaine."

"Is he all right?" Kurt's pitch rose with his anxiety.

"What do you care? You'll be lucky if I ever let you so much as think about him again."

"That's why you came? To threaten me?"

Sebastian shook his head, deflating a little. "No. I came to give this to you." He held out an envelope. "He doesn't know I took it, but...you need to know how he feels. He thinks you leaving is his fault. I told him it's because you are an asshole, but for some reason, he wants to believe the best in you."

Kurt stared at the envelope. "He...he what? H-how is he?"

"Not well. But when he was with you, he was the happiest I'd seen him in years. You were able to accomplish something that I haven't been able to do in a half decade of friendship. You were able to prove to Blaine that he was worth something." Sebastian appraised Kurt. "I can see it in your expression how much he means to you. So there better be a damn good explanation for the pain you're causing him."

"There is. I promise there is," Kurt whispered through clenched teeth.

"Do me a favor. My number is on that envelope. Read the letter, and then let me know if you still think your reason is worth it."

\---

Kurt tried shutting himself away in his bedroom first. But the memories it held for him from his old life were too strong. The painting on the wall that Blaine had added to with a sharpie, the rug that he had argued about with Blaine, both deciding to forego a rug entirely because they couldn't agree, and the bed, for obvious reasons.

So he shut himself in the bathroom next, but memories of rubbing Blaine's back as he got sick into the toilet, of styling Blaine's hair in front of the vanity, of he and Blaine on the counter, in the shower, up against the wall, flooded his mind.

He tried the kitchen, the living room, on top of the washing machine, and finally settled on the dark, back corner of Rachel's closet. Thankfully she wasn't home.

His hands were shaking so hard that he could barely get the letter out of the envelope. He took a deep breath and began to read.

_Dear Kurt,_

_There are a few things I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for, and one of those things is ruining our relationship. I know that getting through to me wasn't easy, but now you're here and I don't want you to leave, yet I can't seem to say the right thing to make you stay. I didn't get a chance to explain myself to you the other night, so please, allow me that chance now. If you still don't want me after reading this, I'll have to accept that. But if this letter can in any way change your mind, I'll be awaiting you with open arms._

_My entire life I've felt like I wasn't enough. Not cool enough to hang out with Cooper and his friends. Not talented enough to get into a performing arts school. Not straight enough for my parents to love me. Not a good enough son to keep them from abandoning me. Not strong enough to avoid getting sexually assaulted by someone I called a friend. Not good enough for anyone to want more than a physical relationship with me. And then you came into my life. And surely, I wasn't good enough for you to want me. Surely, I could have lived a hundred lifetimes being as good and compassionate and selfless as I could be and still not be enough to deserve you. But somehow you let me in. Gave me a chance. And little by little, I started to see._

_They say people can't change. I guess I still don't know whether or not that's true, because you didn't change me. What you did was so much more meaningful than that. You saw me, Kurt. You saw the best in me. The part I'd only caught fleeting glimpses of. In your eyes, I saw myself for who I dreamed to be. I saw a man who could do anything, be anything, feel anything. And I started to believe that I was that man. The one who could actually deserve someone like you. I am not sure where your unending faith in me came from, but it was enough to overpower my deep-seated sense of unworthiness, and I will never, never be able to tell you what that means to me._

_I may be sorry for blurting out those three little words at what appears to have been the wrong time, but I am not sorry that I feel that way. If I was given the chance to give up our time together in exchange for all of the money or success I could ever want, I would easily say no. Because the time we spent together taught me an invaluable lesson: how to love myself and let myself be loved. And I would not trade that for the world._

_I truly believe that we complement one another, that we make each other better. I've never met someone quite like you, Kurt, but I think you're what I've been searching for all along. You strengthen me, you push me, you understand me. I can only hope that I bring to you a fraction of what you've given me. Please, let me try._

_I love you,_

_Blaine_

The words Kurt had been crafting into a speech to give Blaine suddenly came into sharp focus.

Kurt jabbed at his phone, hoping he was pushing the correct buttons through blurry, tear-filled eyes.

"Hello?" A voice answered.

"I need your help, Sebastian."

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is Let Go for Tonight by Foxes

 

Sleep did not come easily to Kurt that night. He was so worked up over what had happened and what was to come that he tossed and turned for hours. After reading Blaine's letter, he had a heart-to-heart with Sebastian over the phone. Kurt gave him the need-to-know explanation of what was going on, and made him promise to protect Blaine in the coming days and weeks. Sebastian, surprisingly, listened without asking too many questions, and agreed to help Blaine find his way if Kurt was lost to him. That was all Kurt needed to hear to put his mind at ease. Kurt hated to admit that he needed Sebastian's help, but if he was being honest with himself, he was glad to have someone on his side, and someone who cared for Blaine almost as much as he did, at that. Even with this reassurance, his mind and body remained restless.

At around 1:00am, Kurt couldn't take it anymore. He decided sleep wasn't coming. He got out of bed and sat down at his desk. Kurt wasn't much of a writer, but reading Blaine's feelings spilled onto a piece of paper had been so healing for him that he thought maybe it could work the other way around, too. He collected his thoughts, then poured his heart out into a letter for Blaine. He sealed it, pressed a kiss to the envelope, and set it aside for the morning.

Feeling infinitely better, Kurt decided to try chasing sleep again.

He did actually doze off for a little, but woke up not even 3 hours later from a heavenly dream where he was back home and making love to Blaine.

He sighed, rolling off of his aching hard-on. He missed his Blaine fiercely. He was yearning for his companion, his counterpart. The person who understood his desires. The one who could give Kurt everything he needed without him having to ask, both physically and emotionally. Memories of the last night they had spent together on Kurt's birthday took over his mind and clouded his head with sinful thoughts. Showertime, then.

The pain of missing his soulmate and the pleasure of remembering the way his amazing fiancé could make him feel combined into a confusing state of sad arousal. It definitely wasn't the first time that he thought of Blaine while he jerked off, but it was the first (and hopefully last) time that he thought of Blaine and cried while he jerked off.

After Kurt was satisfied and had taken enough deep breaths to calm down, he shut off the water, dressed, and tiptoed into Rachel's room.

He wanted to say goodbye, just in case.

"Rach?" He whispered.

She opened one eye.

"Is everything okay?" She asked sleepily.

"Yes. I'm going to try to make up with Blaine. I wanted to say thank you." He walked over carefully and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She tried to sit up now, worrying.

"Yes, I'll be fine. Go back to sleep! Love you."

"Love you, Kurt!"

\---

Kurt wandered around his neighborhood for a while before heading back to the front of his building, where Sebastian was set to pick him up.

He saw the sleek black sportscar pull up with Sebastian hanging out the driver's side window, dancing to the music that was blasting from the speakers.

"Morning, Hummel!" He called.

"Um...hi. Do you know it's 6:00 in the morning? Are you drunk? Because if you are, I am not getting in that car with you."

"Relax. I'm not drunk. I'm just a morning person, and you're killing my buzz. Get in the damn car."

Kurt followed his instructions, deciding that Sebastian was harmless, and they zoomed off to their destination, stopping to pick up a bouquet of roses on the way.

Back in the car, Sebastian said "remind me again why you won't tell Blaine any of what you told me last night?"

It was something Kurt had wrestled with himself, knowing that giving Blaine an explanation would make things infinitely easier.

"I want him to know that this was real. That when I'm gone, he doesn't have to feel like he's starting over again with someone new. The connection and memories will still be there for him, linked to whichever Kurt is with him."

Sebastian looked at him like he was crazy, but deep inside he did understand.

"You know, I won't be home tonight, so if it goes well and you want to take it back there, you're welcome to."

"Thanks. That's nice of you, I think."

"Hey, I'm not a douchebag all of the time."

"I think that's definitely still up for debate."

The car rolled slowly through the city all the way to a large lot where Blaine's movie was filming. Acting in movies had never appealed much to Kurt, but having a closeup look at the set excited him a bit.

"Here we are. I'm on Blaine's approved guest list, but you're not. We're going to pretend that you're a costume design assistant who was just hired. Here's hoping it works."

"If not, you can cause a diversion by flashing the guard, and I'll run in."

"One of your better ideas, Hummel. My goods have been known to stop men in their tracks." Sebastian chuckled at Kurt's look of utter disgust.

They drove up to the security gate built around the set and Sebastian rolled down the window, handing the guard their IDs.

"Hi. I'm Sebastian Smythe and this is Kurt Hummel. He's not on the list, but-"

The guard looked up from the paper he was holding. "He's on the list. You may proceed."

The boys looked at each other, stunned, but glad they didn't have to lie or reveal what was beneath their pants.

Kurt felt a pang of happiness. Blaine had put him on his visitors list. That meant he thought he would be bringing him around the set at some point.

"That was easy," Kurt said with a smug smile.

Sebastian nodded happily, pulling into a spot to park.

"Grab the flowers and let's move," he said. Blaine was supposed to be filming already, so Sebastian, who had visited the set a few times already, would lead Kurt to Blaine's trailer where he would wait for the actor.

Luckily, all was going according to plan and Blaine's trailer was abandoned when they arrived.

Kurt looked around curiously. In stark contrast to the apartment, the trailer was neat as a pin. A guitar sat in the corner, and pictures scattered the magnetic strip on the wall. Kurt frowned when he realized he wasn't in any of them, and vowed to make a point of snapping some pictures with Blaine today.

Kurt placed the flower bouquet in the middle of the room, and Sebastian slipped a bottle of wine into the mini fridge in the corner.

When he straightened up, Sebastian announced "I'm gonna go hit on some cute extras!" And bounced out of the room.

"Asswipe," Kurt mumbled under his breath.

He settled in on Blaine's vanity stool and waited.

\---

A good amount of time later, the trailer door creaked open.

Blaine's gaze was down, so he didn't see Kurt right away. He looked terrible, like he was just barely keeping it together. He threw his cell phone onto a table by the door and looked up.

"Oh shit!" Blaine shouted, startled to see someone in his room.

In the next breath, he realized it was Kurt waiting for him, and his sad eyes lit up.

True to the words he had written, Blaine held out his arms. In two large strides, Kurt was across the room, both boys falling into the other's embrace.

"I'm sorry," they both said in unison.

Blaine pulled away and looked deep into Kurt. How could he have ever run from those eyes?

They spoke together again. "For what?"

This evoked a small smile from Blaine. "This is all my fault. I'm sorry. I don't even know how to explain myself."

Blaine fidgeted with his hands, trying to come up with the words to say.

"You don't need to. You already did," Kurt showed him the letter that was clutched in his hand. "Sebastian took it from your room and gave it to me."

Blaine's eyes widened in panic. "That letter wasn't supposed to be read by you. Not yet! I'm going to kill Sebastian!"

Kurt laughed softly, the sound of it alone seeming to calm Blaine. "Sebastian might be a sneaky little shit, but this time, maybe we should be thanking him."

"Thanking him? You mean…" Blaine tried to hide the hope in his expression.

"I mean that now I see. It was my fault for walking away from you at that airport. But, Blaine, now I see that I can't stay away from you no matter how hard I try. I don't know what will happen 2 months from now, or even 2 days. But for now, I know that you are exactly what I want."

Blaine smiled shyly and wrapped his fingers around Kurt's.

"I am?" His heart pounded. Every word Kurt said was exactly what he needed to hear.

"Absolutely. But there's something you should know...this is going to sound crazy and confusing, so you just have to trust me." Blaine gulped and nodded warily. He knew better than to hope that something so good could happen to him. This was obviously the catch. But Kurt was right. He had to trust him. He loved him, and there was no other choice. He steeled himself for what Kurt was about to say. "There might come a time when I'm not...me. I'll still be Kurt, but just a little different. When that time comes, you have to f-fight for us." Slow tears were streaking down Kurt's cheeks. Blaine reached out a hand and wiped them away. "You have to...have to help me remember the good times we had and why we belong together. P-please don't let me forget…"

Blaine's brow furrowed. He grasped at Kurt's forearms, a sympathy tear running down his face. "Kurt, what's wrong? Are you sick?"

"No, nothing like that. Please don't cry. Just...promise. Promise me you won't let me go." He reached up and brushed his thumb across Blaine's cheekbone.

"I promise!"

Kurt smiled, dug in his pocket, and pulled out a folded piece of paper in a small envelope. He pressed it into Blaine's hand.

"You inspired me to write something too. But you can't read it yet. Hold onto his until you need it. You'll know when that is. And when you need to connect to me, to hear what I have to say, it'll be here, written in this letter for you."

Blaine nodded, but was still upset. "I'm worried."

"I am too. That's why I ran. It's not because you aren't good enough for me. Because you are. You are wonderful and beautiful and you have a good heart."

Blaine attacked Kurt, pushing him back until he was sitting on the stool once more, with Blaine straddling his lap. "You're perfect for me," he cooed against Kurt's lips.

Blaine kissed him deeply and hungrily. Kurt melted into it.

Blaine flicked his tongue down Kurt's neck and paused, sucking at the soft skin there.

Kurt squirmed under him, the pressure Blaine was causing in all the right places was unbearable.

"Blaine," he whispered into his ear. Blaine either didn't hear or didn't care.

"Blaine," Kurt tried again a little louder, pushing at his shoulders this time. "If you don't stop, I'm going to have a very messy and uncomfortable ride home."

Blaine sat up, licking his reddened lips and breathing heavily.

"Ugh. You're right. This is amazing. And I've always dreamed of movie star trailer sex. But we should stop. I have to get back to hair and makeup before my next scene. You see...I had this surprise make out session and it kind of ruined my hairstyle…" he motioned to his curls that were now sticking out at all angles.

Kurt giggled. "Okay, okay, I'll agree. But only if you promise we can continue this tonight."

"Oh, I promise."

\---

The rest of the day, Kurt stayed on the set with Blaine. Kurt's presence worked wonders for Blaine's performance. He nailed his takes, and his director complimented his acting multiple times throughout the day. Blaine thanked Kurt for this profusely, but Kurt insisted that it came from inside Blaine, and that he merely helped bring it to the surface.

Kurt had every intention of taking Blaine to bed the instant they got to the apartment, but when they walked in the door, Blaine yawned and fell into the couch cushions with a sleepy look on his face. He saw Kurt watching him and smiled apologetically. He opened up his arms and Kurt scampered into them, curling up and falling asleep, comforted by the intoxicating smell and feel of the boy beneath him.

\---

Kurt was disoriented when he woke up. He wasn't sure how long he had slept, and there was a vacancy on the couch where he had been sure that Blaine's beautiful body had been when he fell asleep. He looked around the room, enticed by the tinkle of piano notes filling the air. Blaine was seated at his and Sebastian's shared baby grand, tapping out a beautiful, yet unfamiliar tune.

Kurt stretched and got to his feet. He made his way over to Blaine and settled in next to him on the bench.

Blaine smiled brightly at him. "I'm sorry I didn't wake look so peaceful when you sleep." He kissed his cheek and Kurt blushed.

"What song is this?" Kurt wanted to know.

"It's one I'm writing."

Kurt was always amazed at what Blaine could do musically, but he took pride in the fact that what they could do together was even better.

As he listened, the notes shifted and transformed into a song Kurt recognized. They looked into each other's eyes and began singing. Their voices together sounded angelic, and the song spoke to both of them deeply.

_Fell from the sky_

_We fell from the sky and started walking_

_Leavin' our footprints on the ground_

_It might be a prayer_

_Or maybe a piece of conversation_

_Wherever we go we make a sound_

_So I call your name, the only thing I know_

_Is I need you here, will you be gone forever?_

_All that I know, all that I know is we're here tonight_

_Turn off the lights_

_Let go for tonight baby_

_Let love in your life and be shown (turn off the lights)_

_Let go for tonight baby, who needs sleep tonight?_

_I need to let it go, let it go_

_Let it go, let it go, turn off the lights_

_Let love in your life baby, who needs sleep tonight?_

 

Blaine tried to keep from trembling as his fingers played the last note. He could feel Kurt's stare on him. That song had been a fire slowly burning through the two of them, igniting a screaming passion. Blaine knew that as soon as he touched Kurt, it was all over. He wanted him so badly that he was tingling. So far, he'd only had one taste of Kurt's body writhing in pleasure beneath him, and once wasn't anywhere near enough. Blaine thirsted for him like he hadn't for anyone else before. Without warning, his fingers danced up Kurt's arm to his face.

Kurt groaned at his touch, which Blaine found irresistible. Their lips came together in a harmonious collaboration. The desire behind their kisses was obvious-Blaine was practically crawling on Kurt trying to get him closer and closer.

They broke apart only when the piano bench swayed back dangerously on two legs from the uneven weight it held. They stilled and shifted their weight, trying to level the bench. Through laughter. their lustful eyes met.

"Bedroom," they both said with husky voices.

It was as if they were racing. The moment they hit the bed, clothes were shed and discarded left and right. Hands were holding, exploring, teasing. Tongues tasting, twirling, ravishing. The pair was bold and deliberate and unapologetic in their movements, trying to show rather than tell each other how they felt.

Kurt ran his fingers across the sensitive skin above Blaine's collarbone while Blaine began stroking him.

"I was thinking…" Kurt began. His mischievous tone caught Blaine's attention. "I want to make you feel as amazing as you make me feel. Do you trust me? Can I try something?"

Blaine's eyes glowed with a guarded excitement.

"Anything. Of course I trust you."

Kurt smiled and flipped Blaine over onto his back, hovering over him. He traced his fingers up Blaine's thigh to his entrance.

Immediately, Blaine clamped his legs together and looked at Kurt with scared eyes. "Anything but that."

"I'm not asking you to bottom or anything, I just want to show you how good it can be." _I know how much you love it_ , he wanted to say.

"I'm sorry. My first-and last-experience with…that...was traumatic. I don't know if I can-"

Kurt removed his fingers from between Blaine's legs instantly.

"Never mind, then. I would never push you to do something you weren't comfortable with." He kissed a line down Blaine's neck to his chest. Kurt's tongue flicked out over a nipple, causing Blaine to groan loudly.

Blaine was powerless. But what's more-he wanted what Kurt was offering. He was afraid, but he did trust Kurt. He couldn't explain it, but he felt he could trust Kurt with his life.

He groaned once more as Kurt tugged light on his nipple with his teeth.

"Okay. Yes." Blaine breathed.

Kurt paused and looked up.

"What?"

"Yes. Touch me. _There. Please_."

Kurt moved slowly so that Blaine could anticipate his motions. A lubed finger traced its way down to the entrance it sought.

"Okay, but you have to be honest with me. If you don't like it, just tell me to stop."

Blaine nodded his assent.

Kurt brushed over Blaine's pucker, sending Blaine into quivers. He pressed his finger to the entrance. Blaine tensed, but when Kurt looked up to check on him, he was smiling down at him. Blaine's white knuckles as he clenched the sheets next to him told another story, though, and Kurt knew he needed to be mindful.

He eased his finger inside, and when it was all the way in, he stilled and gave Blaine time to adjust and relax.

When Blaine's hands gave up their death grip on the sheets and moved to Kurt's back to pull him closer, he took that as a signal to move.

"Don't...stop…" Blaine growled.

Kurt froze. His head whipped up to look at Blaine, who looked confused.

"Why did you stop?"

"You said 'Don't. Stop.'"

Blaine laughed, releasing some of the tension in his body. "I was trying to say don't stop, but you had me a little incoherent!"

Kurt's laugh was muffled by his contact with Blaine's skin. His finger moved back to its previous position and he kissed every inch of Blaine's neck and chest, sucking temporary marks into his skin while he pumped his finger slowly in and out.

Blaine was breathing heavily and squirming at Kurt's touch, but Kurt knew how to make him go wild. He crooked his finger, not having to search for the spot that would do it.

When he brushed up against Blaine's prostate, Blaine bucked his hips wildly and shouted out Kurt's name.

"Oh my god! Fuuuuu...Kurt!" He cried as Kurt hit the spot again and again.

Suddenly, Kurt removed his finger and left Blaine feeling empty.

"No! Why did you do that?" Blaine mumbled, reaching to pull Kurt's hand back down.

Kurt smirked. "Because. Did you want to come just from me doing this?" He slipped his finger back in to swipe across Blaine's prostate once more.

"Yes yes yes yes," a string of words fell out of his mouth. "I did."

Kurt pouted. "But I want you inside of me when you come."

Blaine growled, transforming from pleading to predatory instantly. "Who am I to say no to that? Side of the bed," he commanded.

Disappointment flashed across Kurt's face. He climbed off the bed and turned to face it, placing his forearms on the mattress. Blaine's bed was much taller than his own at home, so this position was actually possible. He blinked back the disappointment he had felt a second before. He had already pushed Blaine into something new today, he didn't need to push him to make love face-to-face again, when it was clearly not what Blaine wanted. And it wasn't that Kurt didn't like that position, he just thought Blaine would want to connect with him again.

"What are you doing?" Blaine asked, coming up behind him.

"Um...you said side of the bed. I thought you wanted to take me from behind like you're used to…" Kurt looked over his shoulder at Blaine and blushed.

"No, silly," Blaine grabbed Kurt's hips and turned him around. "I meant like this." He pushed Kurt's shoulders backward onto the mattress and pulled him up by his thighs, so that they were perpendicular to each other, Kurt's ankles hooked behind Blaine's back. The coolness of Blaine's ring pushed into Kurt's skin, a reminder of the token that was his only connection to his other life.

"Ohhhh gaaaahhh Blaine that's hot."

"I've always wanted to try it," he winked. An already slick finger made contact with the inside of Kurt and he cried out. Blaine made quick work of prepping him, because he was dying to fuck the hell out of the gorgeous man in front of him.

In a few minutes, the condom was on and Blaine was inside.

The angle was exquisite for Kurt. This may have been his new favorite position.

He keened as Blaine pushed into him, working into a rhythm that they both flowed with. Beads of sweat dripped off of Blaine onto Kurt's smooth, glistening stomach. Kurt's legs gripped Blaine closer and closer and harder and harder as he rose to his climax.

Blaine was so close. He rolled his hips, watching Kurt's eyelids flutter closed in anticipation.

One of Blaine's hands pawed at Kurt's ass, lifting him off the bed with each push, while the other reached between them to stroke Kurt's hardened cock.

Kurt's moans escalated to breathy screams. "Ah! Aaah! Ohmygodfuck!"

Kurt came onto his own chest, hoping that Blaine was close behind, because he didn't think he could hold up his legs any longer.

On cue, Blaine exploded into him, letting loose a cascade of profanities, then leaning down to cover Kurt's body with his own as he came down from his high. He could feel Kurt's legs shaking against him. He knew the feeling-his legs felt like jello. He pulled out of Kurt and maneuvered them both so they were laying against the pillows.

For the longest time, nobody spoke. The boys cuddled together in their blissed out states.

"I don't know how these crazy things keep coming out of my mouth, but something about you makes me speak my mind…" Blaine led in. "I am so glad I've let you in my life. I'm actually _happy_. I feel so fulfilled now that I'm with you. Like...I thought I was the best I could be before, but when I met you, it was like a shadow shifted and I could finally see what my true potential was. There are things I can only do because of you."

Kurt, who was draped across Blaine, head laying on his chest, snuggled him closer in response. The words were soothing, and helped Kurt come to terms with what he had been struggling with all along-the idea that he and Blaine could be holding each other back. He now knew that was crazy.

"I had no idea it could be so wonderful." Blaine whispered against Kurt's hair.

"What? Sex?"

Blaine chuckled. "Well, yes, but that's not what I meant. I meant being in love. Did you know it could be like this?"

Kurt smiled broadly. "I had an inkling."


	11. Original Ending

 

Kurt woke slowly from his dreams. He smiled, still half-asleep, as he realized his arms were around little spoon Blaine. He hadn't woken up in bed with Blaine in so long, and it felt amazing. He couldn't put his finger on exactly what it was, but for the first time in a long time, he felt _right_.

His thumb absently reached up to rub at his engagement ring, the smooth metal comforting against his skin.

Wait…

Kurt's eyes flew open. He was in his own bed. In his own apartment. Pictures of him and his partner scattered the room. His scarf rack stood in the corner, boasting dozens of colorful garments.

And Blaine. _Blaine_. It was _his Blaine_. Kurt knew it like he knew he had ten fingers and ten toes.

His breathing had become erratic, overwhelmed by feelings of relief. He tightened his arms around Blaine, pulling him closer. He squeezed and squeezed until he was sure he was pushing all of the air out of his fiancé, and then he squeezed some more. He buried his face in the crook of Blaine's neck and breathed him in, soapy and spicy and the lingering trace of hair gel.

Then he dissolved into hysterics, turning over the events of the past few weeks in his mind. He gasped for breath, wrapping his body around Blaine's with no intention of ever letting go.

"Kurt," Blaine's voice was urgent. He struggled to turn around in Kurt's arms. When Kurt realized what he was attempting to do, he loosened his grip just enough for Blaine to turn to face him, then resumed his vice grip. They were now face-to-face, and Kurt could see the concern in Blaine's eyes. The years worth of love that were reserved only for him. This sent him further into his uncontrolled spiral.

"What's going on?" Blaine asked, pulling Kurt to his chest, stroking his back and pressing his lips into Kurt's hair. "Did something happen?"

Kurt fought to even his breaths. The front of Blaine's shirt was damp and cold from Kurt's tears and snot, but there was no way he was going to let go.

Kurt nodded. Blaine's fingers gripped tighter at his back.

"What is it, baby? You can tell me." Kurt could tell Blaine was trying to stay calm, but he could still hear the edge in his voice.

_No I can't. Not really._

Kurt took a few more minutes to stabilize. Each time he felt himself getting control over his emotions, he slipped back into hysteria.

"I-I-I'm s-so...so s-s-sorry!" He finally got out.

"Jesus, Kurt. I've never seen you like this. You're scaring me. What happened?" Blaine was trying to exude calm and comfort, though he himself was starting to lose control watching his partner fall to pieces.

_Breathe. Relax. Blaine is here. Everything is back to normal. Breathe._

When he could finally speak, Kurt told Blaine as calmly as he could. "It was a nightmare. You were gone and there was a different Blaine, only he didn't know anything about me. I didn't know if I would ever see you again." Tears sprang to his eyes once more. "I just missed you so much!"

He was grateful that Blaine didn't laugh at him. But Kurt should have known that he wouldn't. Blaine always validated Kurt's feelings and never told him that what he was experiencing was ridiculous. Rather, Blaine (relieved that it was nothing more serious) pulled Kurt impossibly closer and made him feel loved and safe.

"It was only a nightmare. It's okay now. You're here with me. I know everything about you. You are Kurt Elizabeth Hummel. Your birthday was yesterday. You're a brilliant singer and designer. You're a daddy's boy. You secretly love my Katy Perry obsession." Kurt gave a snotty snort and Blaine nuzzled his hair with his nose. "You're the most magnificent human being I've ever met, and the love I have for you is infinite and incomparable. Does that convince you?"

Kurt realized it had been weeks since he'd said the words. He was suddenly overcome with the need to get it out of his mouth.

"Blaine I love you. I love you so much. I'm sorry. I never should have wondered who I would be without you. It was stupid and immature. I love who we are together and wouldn't change anything about our relationship. You make me me. I'm so sorry for ever doubting it…"

Blaine just snuggled him in response.

Just then, they heard someone stomping around outside their room.

"It's way too early for this girl to be awake, considering the earsplitting sounds Fuckfest 2.0 that Tweedle Gay and Tweedle Gayer were treating us all to for hours last night!" Santana's voice shouted through their door.

Kurt laughed gleefully. "Santana!" God, had he missed her and her snark. He untangled himself from Blaine and attempted to get up to pull some sweatpants on, but Blaine pulled him back and kissed him hard. Lust clouded his expression.

"Let's give her a little more to complain about, shall we?"

\---

Kurt couldn't remember ever being so loud during sex. This would surely start a competition between them and Santana, and he felt sorry for Rachel, who was caught in the middle of it all.

For Blaine, it had been less than 12 hours since the last time he'd had Kurt. But for Kurt, this was reunion sex. And it was, without a doubt, the best they'd ever had.

"Wow," Blaine lay on his back, panting.

"Yeah. Wow." Kurt matched his posture.

"Yeah, wow," Santana called through the door. "This is game on. Get your little horny asses out here for breakfast!"

"Coming!" Kurt called.

"That's what you said ten minutes ago…" Santana retorted.

The men chuckled.

"Poor Rachel," Blaine said, echoing Kurt's earlier sentiment.

"We will have to give her a really good pair of earplugs for Hanukkah this year. Where are you going?" He asked, watching Blaine head toward the bathroom slowly.

"Well, maybe nowhere. I'm finding it a little difficult to walk, thanks to you." He smirked at Kurt. "Have to fix my hair. Can't be seen by anyone else like this," he motioned to the mess of curls atop his head.

"Hmmm…" Kurt got to his feet. He didn't fail to notice his fiancé's eyes rake up and down his naked body. "Wait right here."

Blaine stood in place obediently as Kurt ran to the bathroom and squeezed a handful of mousse into his palm. He returned seconds later and began running his fingers through Blaine's hair.

When he pulled back, he spun Blaine around to check himself out in the standing mirror.

"What do you think?"

Blaine appraised his new hairstyle. "Not bad. What do you think?"

Kurt threw jeans and a gray v-neck shirt at him, and Blaine pulled them on.

Kurt growled his appreciation. "Perfect."

**AU Kurt & Blaine**

Sunlight streaming through the slats in the blinds woke Kurt up. He yawned and stretched, and his arm hit something warm and soft.

He retracted his hand quickly, afraid because he didn't remember falling asleep with another human. He opened his eyes to peek at the person next to him, assuming it was Rachel, but he was shocked to see a mop of curly dark hair and the most perfect, chiseled face he had ever seen.

Even through his disorientation and confusion, he somehow felt a sense of ease and comfort looking at the boy.

The other man was waking too, and Kurt tried to decide if he should bolt.

"Kurt," the sweet, clear voice spoke as a hand reached out to his. The man opened his gorgeous hazel eyes and the floodgates broke.

Memories that were his but weren't his paraded across Kurt's mind. Memories of meeting Blaine, knowing they were meant to be, fighting for Blaine, singing with Blaine, _sleeping_ with Blaine. It was like he had been there the whole time, but someone else had been in control of his life. Yet, all of the feelings were his. It was confusing. But for the first time in his life, he felt fulfilled. Completely happy. And…could it be?

Kurt extended his arms back out to Blaine, who was watching him with a careful expression.

"Blaine?" He brushed a hand across the sleepy boy's forehead. Looking into those eyes, he was suddenly sure of it. "I love you."

A smile burst across Blaine's face. "Just when I was starting to think you'd never say that...I love you too, Kurt." They hugged. Kurt tried to brush off the feeling of discomfort at his nude body being pressed up against another man. The feeling of security and rightness that Blaine gave him won out and he sank into the hug, bowing his body to fit Blaine's.

Kurt had never felt so sure of anything in his life than he did at that moment. He knew that from here on out, it would be him and Blaine against the world. And he knew that he wouldn't want it any other way.

\---

A year later, Kurt and Blaine walked arm-in-arm to the premiere of Blaine's movie.

Their lives had changed immensely since the day they met, but their affection for each other only grown, flowing with their changing lives.

"Blaine and Kurt!" A photo photographer called, trying to get a shot for his magazine.

They posed, but unbeknownst to them, the image that would be published the next day was a candid of the couple looking into each other's eyes and laughing. Their fans would go crazy over it.

It was a huge day for Blaine as an actor, but also as a musician. He had written a song for the movie soundtrack that he and Kurt sang together. He had achieved more than he ever dreamed, and he couldn't have been happier that he could share this experience with Kurt.

He remembered back to the early days of their relationship. The emotional rollercoaster, the uncertainty, the fear. But it had all been worth it, because now he was standing here, celebrating the greatest accomplishment of his life with the greatest love of his life.

If Kurt had taught him anything, it was to leap in headfirst when it came to love. He patted the shiny new engagement ring he'd stashed in his breast pocket. Leaping headfirst is exactly what he planned to do.

All evening, Blaine couldn't help smiling as though he was in on a secret that nobody else was privy to. He was. The best secret of all. His heart thumped wildly against his ribcage. His hands were sweaty. He was excited and anxious. But not nervous. No, Kurt was his anchor. The steadiest thing in his world. And he knew Kurt felt the same.

Blaine was giddy as he led Kurt out into the private garden outside of the after party. He pulled his thoughts together as they walked in contented silence. He breathed deeply to prepare himself for the task at hand. He reveled in the shock on Kurt's face as he stopped them and stooped to one knee. He stumbled his way through the words as he laid his heart out for Kurt to see.

And when he said "It would complete me to become your husband. Marry me, Kurt." Time stopped for a moment while Kurt considered. But only for a brief moment. Because Kurt's next words were quick and perfect and meaningful and the sweetest Blaine had ever heard.

"Just when I was starting to think you'd never say that..."


	12. Alternate Ending

 

**AU Kurt & Blaine**

Sunlight streaming through the slats in the blinds woke Kurt up. He yawned and stretched, and his arm hit something warm and soft.

" _Ah_!" He yelped, scrambling to pull himself off the bed.

Where _was_ he? And who was he in bed with? What had he done? He had the unsettling sense that something serious had happened without his knowledge.

How had he ended up in a stranger's bed? Was he date raped?

_Calm down_ , he tried to tell himself. There wasn't any proof that he had even had sex. He glanced down at his unclothed body. Hmm.

He had to get out. Now. Kurt dashed around the room, picking up his clothes and throwing them on. He was trying to be quiet, but his nerves were causing him to trip and knock things over.

The man in the bed stirred.

"Kurt? What are you doing?" He grumbled groggily.

Kurt froze, stunned. The man lying before him was absolutely extraordinary. And so, so familiar. It took him a moment before he could speak, and even then it was tentative and choppy.

"Who-what-how did I get here? How-Who are you?"

Blaine felt like he had been punched in the stomach. Kurt, the person he had bared his soul to, whom he had let in unlike anyone else, didn't seem to know who he was. He struggled to get upright, but was twisted in the sheets, so he settled for leaning up on his elbow to take in the scene. Kurt was half-clothed, holding his shirt and socks in his hands, and was reaching toward the door. He looked like Blaine felt. He looked nauseous. He looked afraid. Could this be what Kurt had been talking about? He had said he might not be himself...but he didn't seem to remember _anything_ about Blaine. He remembered what Kurt said. _Fight for us. Please don't let me forget._

"It's me, Blaine. We had a fight but then we made up and you stayed the night last night. Remember?" Blaine asked desperately.

"I-I'm sorry. I don't…" Kurt turned to leave.

"Wait! Please. Stay."

But Kurt was already gone.

\---

Blaine stared at the spot Kurt where had been standing. He couldn't quite wrap his mind around what had happened. Kurt had warned him that something might happen, but this was too much. He wanted to go back to yesterday afternoon when they had made up, kissed, napped together, and kissed some more. When Kurt had given him the letter.

_The letter!_ Blaine launched across the room to his desk where he thought he remembered stashing it.

_Hold onto his until you need it_ , Kurt had said. Blaine didn't realize that moment would come so soon. _When you need to connect to me, it'll be here._

Oh, how he needed it. He needed it to keep himself together, to convince himself that he wasn't losing it. He needed it to feel the comforting presence that was Kurt. Blaine dug through the piles of papers on his desk, but couldn't find it anywhere. He dashed out to the kitchen to look there.

Sebastian was sitting at their dining table, leaning back in his chair, looking at something in his hands.

"Morning sunshine. Looking for this?" He held up the handwritten letter he had been reading and waved it around. "Holy hell, Blaine. Put some fucking pants on. A man should be able to live in his own apartment without being subjected to seeing his roommate's dick!"

Blaine rolled his eyes, way beyond caring.

"Sebastian! That letter is personal! You can't read it! Give it to me or I'll...I'll walk around here naked all the time!" Blaine swiped for the letter and Sebastian jerked out of the way.

"Oh god, okay, okay, you can have it! Just don't touch me with that thing!"

Blaine snatched the letter from him and retreated back into his room in a hurry.

Sebastian rubbed his temples, worrying. He had seen how messed up Kurt was when he left. He knew what had happened and why Blaine was in such a panic. He hated seeing Blaine like this. But there was nothing he could do but wait.

\---

_Blaine,_

_Getting to know you has been nothing short of life-changing for me. I was a little bit lost when I met you, looking for answers, and going about it all the wrong way. The most surprising thing you gave me was not the answers to my questions, but rather, the knowledge that I didn't need to be asking them._

_If you're reading this, it means the inevitable has happened. I'm sure you have many questions right now. I am sorry that I cannot give you all of the answers. Maybe you, too, will find that it's not necessary to ask all of those questions. In the end, what matters is you and me. Wherever I am, there you belong too. You just have to fight for it._

_Once, you told me that you thought I was hand-crafted for you. I never told you, but I feel the same way. There are so many things I haven't had the chance to tell you. Like how perfect you look when you're asleep. How I feel it in my soul when you play your music. How you shine so brightly that it is almost blinding. But even through your blinding light, though, I still see you. I'll always see you. You're all I've ever seen._

_If I give you the power to become the man you've always wanted to be, then you give me the courage to make the leaps I've been too afraid to make on my own. You give me a safe place to come back to. I can't imagine living my life any other way._

_No matter what happens, you have to believe in me. In us. You need to have faith that we belong with one another. I may need a reminder, but our connection will always be there. Hold onto it as tightly as you can. Don't ever let me go._

_All my love,_

_Kurt_

_\---_

Thank god for Rachel. She had talked Kurt down off the ledge he'd been precariously perching on when he arrived back at their apartment. He had seen the date on the calendar and lost it. It was six weeks later than the last day he remembered. What had happened to those six weeks? Why couldn't he remember? And who the hell was Blaine?

So Rachel calmed him down, making him tea and telling him that she wasn't sure why he didn't remember, but he had been there for the past month and a half. She explained that she knew Blaine, who he had been dating, and that he was a great guy whom Kurt liked very much. She suggested he give him a chance.

She was very Rachel about it all, sounding so matter-of-fact and convicted that he had no choice but to believe her.

Now he paced, deciding what to do. Did he call Blaine and apologize? He wasn't really sure what he was apologizing for, but he trusted Rachel, and weirdly, he seemed to trust Blaine. Did he take a few days to himself to collect his thoughts and come to terms with having missed out on six weeks of his life? That would be the logical thing to do, but his heart seemed to be winning out over his brain on this one. After seeing Blaine this morning, it was like his heart knew something he didn't yet. He was dying to see the gorgeous man who was supposedly his boyfriend. To see what it was about him (other than his face and his body and his eyes and his arms and his back…) that made Kurt's heart do somersaults whenever he thought of him.

In the end, he didn't have time to agonize over it too much, because the boyfriend in question showed up at his door a few minutes later.

Kurt stood staring. Blaine was shorter than he had imagined, and he looked ragged. His eyes were red and his hair stuck out at all angles. He looked fragile, but still so beautiful. Kurt had the sudden urge to protect Blaine and give him anything he wanted.

"Blaine, hi. Come in." Kurt led him to the couch where they both sat awkwardly, trying not to brush knees or elbows.

Kurt was looking anywhere but at Blaine. Why did he have to be so damn awkward? It's not like he hadn't ever dated anyone before...okay, maybe he technically hadn't. Or maybe it was that he knew they'd slept together, but didn't even know his last name.

Just then, Blaine took his hands. A warmth rushed through Kurt, spreading courage all the way to his fingertips. He met Blaine's eyes. The sense of familiarity from this morning struck him again. Now he knew why.

Blaine started speaking. "We met at a piano bar. I was playing and you were there with Rachel. I was a different person back then. I was guarded, and I lived on the surface, never going very deep. I didn't know that meeting you was all it would take for that to change. I was in the middle of playing a song and looked up to see you, glowing in the lights, the picture of perfection. I almost had to start the song over again because my fingers wouldn't work right. Because not only had I laid eyes on the most beautiful human being I would ever see in my life, but because you were watching me. And the way you were watching me...it was like you _knew_ me. I was helpless from that first look. I felt compelled to play to you, so I did. It was the most connected I'd ever been to my music and to another person. There was a spark that just kept growing and growing as I sang, and I couldn't wait to get to you. And then, you were gone."

Kurt had hardly breathed while Blaine spoke. His stomach was clenched tightly, mirroring his hands, which clung to Blaine's. His eyes begged for more of the story. Blaine gave him what he wanted.

"I found you the next day. You shouldn't have liked me. I was so cocky and arrogant. But somehow you saw through me. That was the first time we kissed. You breathed life into me."

Kurt hung on every word as Blaine continued his side of the story. When he finished, they were inches apart, having leaned in without realizing it. Blaine sat back to run his hands through his hair and Kurt remembered to breathe.

"Kurt, let me prove to you that this is real. That it's meant to be. Let me take you out to dinner tonight."

They both knew that Blaine was offering so much more than a date. If Kurt said yes, he was agreeing to not only dinner, but also to their relationship. To Blaine.

The sound of their heartbeats filled the room as Blaine awaited Kurt's answer, knowing that if he said no, it would be a crushing blow he wasn't sure he could come back from.

Kurt pulled his hands away and wound them around Blaine's back in a hug. He couldn't explain it, but all of his qualms had been wiped away. He had the terrifying yet liberating feeling that he would do anything this man asked.

"Yes. A million times yes."

\---

The last six months had been a complete whirlwind. Kurt dove into his relationship with Blaine, and didn't regret a single second of it. It was not perfect, not at all, but he had never been more confident, more fulfilled, more _in love_.

And now, they were on a plane together to celebrate Christmas in Ohio. They were going to spend Christmas together.

"There's something I want to tell you," Blaine said, turning to Kurt as they coasted through the skies.

Kurt stared, but Blaine's face wasn't giving anything away.

"If you took me up here to break up with me while I'm 30,000 feet in the air and surrounded by witnesses, your plan backfired. I will still slap you and then leave using the emergency escape."

Blaine's composure broke and he laughed. "I'm not breaking up with you. Here." He handed Kurt a piece of mail with the NYADA logo on it.

"What's this?" Kurt asked suspiciously. Blaine just shrugged in response. Kurt flipped the envelope over, but the seal was already broken.

"Okay, I may have peeked."

"Why would I be getting mail from NYADA?"

"I may have re-submitted your application."

"You did _WHAT_?! But they already turned me down."

"I may have recorded you performing the song we wrote together and sent it to them."

Kurt narrowed his eyes. "Is there anything you _may not_ have done?"

Blaine thought. "I may not have waited to share the news with your dad and Carole."

"News? There is news. Oh my god. Can't breathe." He ripped open the envelope and read his acceptance. He shrieked, eliciting shushes from the other passengers. He threw his arms around Blaine.

"Blaine!" He jumped up and down in his seat. "How did you do this? Why?"

Blaine shone like the sun. "I may go a little crazy when it comes to making you happy."

Kurt grabbed him by the face and kissed him senseless.

"I may be so in love with you."

It may have been the best Christmas ever.

**Original Universe Kurt & Blaine**

Kurt woke slowly from his dreams. He smiled, still half-asleep, as he realized his arms were around little spoon Blaine. He hadn't woken up in bed with Blaine in so long, and it felt amazing. He couldn't put his finger on exactly what it was, but for the first time in a long time, he felt _right_.

His thumb absently reached up to rub at his engagement ring, the smooth metal comforting against his skin.

Wait…

Kurt's eyes flew open. He was in his own bed. In his own apartment. Pictures of him and his partner scattered the room. His scarf rack stood in the corner, boasting dozens of colorful garments.

And Blaine. _Blaine_. It was _his Blaine_. Kurt knew it like he knew he had ten fingers and ten toes.

His breathing had become erratic, overwhelmed by feelings of relief. He tightened his arms around Blaine, pulling him closer. He squeezed and squeezed until he was sure he was pushing all of the air out of his fiancé, and then he squeezed some more. He buried his face in the crook of Blaine's neck and breathed him in, soapy and spicy and the lingering trace of hair gel.

Then he dissolved into hysterics, turning over the events of the past few weeks in his mind. He gasped for breath, wrapping his body around Blaine's with no intention of ever letting go.

"Kurt," Blaine's voice was urgent. He struggled to turn around in Kurt's arms. When Kurt realized what he was attempting to do, he loosened his grip just enough for Blaine to turn to face him, then resumed his vice grip. They were now face-to-face, and Kurt could see the concern in Blaine's eyes. The years worth of love that were reserved only for him. This sent him further into his uncontrolled spiral.

"Kurt," Blaine implored again.

"Is it really you?" Kurt clutched at Blaine's shirt in disbelief. Blaine rubbed a soothing hand over his back.

"It's really me."

Kurt felt dizzy at the mix of emotions coursing through him.

"I'm sorry," he apologized for his blubbering. "It's just...I had a nightmare."

"I know."

"What do you mean?"

"It wasn't a nightmare."

Kurt snapped his head up to look at Blaine, who wore a sly smile. "What do you mean?" He asked again.

"I was there, Kurt."

"You were…there…?" Kurt tested out the words.

Blaine nodded. "It was like I was inside of his head, watching it all happen. I was there."

A whole new wave of panic hit.

"So you know everything? You know how crazy I was? You...oh my god...you know I slept with him!"

Blaine went rigid.

"Slept with _whom_ , exactly?"

"With Blaine," Kurt said like it was the most obvious thing.

Blaine's whole body relaxed and he pulled Kurt in closer. He laughed. "You mean me?"

"Yes, but the other you. I don't...I wasn't thinking. I'm so sorry, Blaine. Please don't…" Kurt struggled to find the words.

Blaine was shaking with laughter. "I'm not mad at you, Kurt. It was still me."

Kurt batted at him lightly. "Don't laugh at me! I've been so worked up over the fact that I thought I cheated on you!" He wiped his eyes, then started laughing with Blaine. They were still wrapped around each other, and the friction created by the laughter was enough to get them both going.

"You know, I do have a question, though," Blaine's voice was low. "When you saw the other Blaine for the first time, I could tell from your face that he excited you. You were practically screaming 'take me right here on your piano, Hipster Blaine!'"

Kurt glared, offended that he was so transparent, but then again, it was Blaine, so he wasn't actually surprised that his thoughts were so evident.

"That's not a question."

"Answer it anyway."

"I love you just the way you are. Let's just say that Hipster Blaine is a fantasy I may enjoy indulging in every now and then," Kurt winked.

Blaine swiveled himself and sat back on his heels so that he was straddling Kurt's hips. He ran his fingers through his hair, brushing out the remainder of last night's hair gel so that his curls were free and loose. He then placed his hands on Kurt's chest.

"So you mean, this might turn you on?"

"Mmm hmm," Kurt gulped.

Blaine leaned down to kiss him, and Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's back and pulled him down against his chest. The atmosphere shifted from one of lust to one of love.

"I can't even tell you how happy I am to be back here with you. It was terrifying and confusing and made me feel so uncertain. But there were some good parts, too. Actually, one really, really good part. I got to fall in love with you for a second time." Blaine looked so touched that tears collected in his eyes.

Kurt lifted his mouth to Blaine's for a quick yet romantic peck, then continued. "I am so sorry for how I acted before. I should have never made that wish...I understand now that I don't ever want to be the person I would be without you."

"The same is true for me." Blaine kissed his neck.

"You're always so quick to forgive me. I don't deserve you."

"That's insane. You deserve everything good the world wants to give you." Blaine's eyes had darkened once more. "For example, you deserve this," Blaine rolled his hips against Kurt, making him cry out in pleasure. "You deserve this," Blaine kissed him down his neck and across his chest. Blaine sat up and opened his mouth to speak again, but Kurt cut him off.

"I think I know where this is go- _unghh_!"

Blaine's fingers were around him, working their magic.

"It's still your birthday weekend. How do you want me, birthday boy?"

Kurt thought for a minute, considering his last sexcapade with other Blaine, remembering how amazing it was when he took Kurt off the edge of the bed.

Blaine's mind must have been there too, because both boys spoke in unison.

"We need to get a taller bed."

**Four Years Later**

Blaine and Kurt walked hand-in-hand through the streets of Paris. Their wedding had been small and intimate and nothing like what Kurt used to imagine when he was younger. It was perfect. And to top it all off, their family and friends had pooled their gift money together and sent them to Paris for their honeymoon.

They'd done all of the things Kurt had always dreamed of doing in Paris. Spent an entire day at the Louvre, climbed to the top of Montmartre, hung a lock on the Pont de l'Archevêché, sang a duet in front of the Moulin Rouge, had coffee and croissants in the morning while peoplewatching outside their rental, and had newlywed sex. Lots and lots of newlywed sex.

Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand. "What are you thinking about?"

He blushed, not wanting to admit what he had just been thinking. "How amazing this all is. Paris. Being on our honeymoon. Being married. To you."

"Most every day with you is amazing," Blaine cheesed.

"Glad you qualified that statement with a 'most,'" Kurt laughed.

"There's always room for improvement," joked Blaine. "But honestly, I would love to go back and do it all over again. This has by far been the best week of my life." Blaine leaned his head on Kurt's shoulder.

They walked in silence toward their destination, wrapped up in their obsession for one another and the life they built together.

"There it is! How beautiful!" He pulled Kurt's hand and stopped in front of the Fontaines de la Concorde.

Kurt's eyes widened in fear as Blaine pulled out a euro. He knew that people threw coins into fountains and made wishes, but those were people who had never lived through a wish-come-true-gone-wrong.

Blaine's arm was poised to throw the euro into the fountain.

"I wish that everyday-"

" _BLAINE, NO!_ "

"-was our wedding day."

He tossed the coin.


End file.
